It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
J Sto, UW-Eau Claire
Turns out you are the idiot. Don't you realize I read College Humor everyday and would see your confession? You put your full name! When you talked about killing my families pigs last week, it was me that called the cops and informed PETA so you would get all those threatening Emails and have to spend a night in jail while the cops questioned you. The best part is, I never broke your Xbox. Your fat girlfriend wandered over drunk one night and fell on top of it. It never worked since. Which is understandable since 285 pounds crashing down on it would break almost anything. Maybe you should have tried to poison that pig.
Jeff L., UW-Oshkosh
After listening to you bang various dbags at least once a week that always left their used condoms in our toilet, after the batteries kept disappearing from our TV remotes because you were too lazy to go buy your own for your vibrator, and for constantly throwing your uneaten food in the toilet, plugging it up and leaving me to plunge it, instead of the trash can, I decided it was time to give you a taste of your own medicine. I left tuna casserole, clam chowder soup, and queso dip in the refrigerator until it was good and moldy, and dumped it in the toilet. I also threw in a couple used condoms from me and my boyfriend. I let it sit there for a couple hours until it stank up the bathroom, and then flushed the toilet, promptly plugging it up. I then lined the bathroom with your fancy, plush towels and flushed the toilet again, causing it to overflow. When all the moldy tuna/clam/queso/semen water was soaked up by your beautiful towels, I unmade your bed and threw them all over your new high-thread count sheets that you were so proud of. I hope you enjoyed that. Have fun in Europe, bitch!
Allison P, School Not Given
I had a roommate that used to get obliterated drunk all the time. He also like to grope girls in public. One time her grabbed a girl's crotch and told her, "you know you like it, bitch." Anyway, one time he came home and passed out while everyone was still up partying. So we went into his room, drew dildos on him and put shaving cream on his face. He woke up 20 minutes later and came into the living room screaming. He picked up a 40oz, smashed it on a table and managed to cut the crap out of his hand. So we called a cab to take him to the Hospital. When we picked him up the next morning, no one had cleaned the stuff drawn on his face, or mentioned it to him, so he was walking around with all sorts of crap on his face.
Alex K., University of Delaware
I live off-campus in a rented house with four other guys. Three of them are fellow students and good friends of mine, but the fourth is unemployed and living off his employment insurance payments. When he's here, his friends are always over and they eat our food, drink our alcohol, and play loud shitty music. Somehow, he ended up with the only key to the rec room downstairs and he thinks it is 'his', locking the rest of us out, despite the fact he only pays for his bedroom and the use of the house's appliances. This pisses me off. So guess what, buddy? When I had a few friends over last weekend we kicked the door down and played Guitar Hero on that awesome plasma TV of yours for hours. The day after, I realized that wasn't nearly good enough, so I loaded a porno on to your PS3 and then paused it at a particularly good point. The picture is now burned into the display. Have fun explaining that to your girlfriend, jackass.
Mike S., School Not Given