He's my all-time favorite Rick,
'Cause I imagine that it would be sick,
If he made light of a bedroom compunction,
Like the dreaded erectile dysfunction,
By exclaiming, "Honey, I shrunk my dick!"
As Al Borland, he was a fence mender,
In a flannel war, he'd make Grunge surrender;
The "Little Giant" ladder dude,
'Peterman' took his job on "the Feud",
A resemblance to ev'ry sex offender.
A loyal fifth generation Texan,
Running for gubernatorial re-election;
Son of a loyal Democrat,
Helped his career, then Rick said, "Screw that",
I guess if he knows one thing, its secession.
Best-selling author of The God Delusion,
Says God is an optical illusion;
But chances are great,
If he's at the Pearly Gates,
He'll be quick to chalk it up to confusion.
A worthy adversary to Highlights,
More entertaining than all of the Twilights;
And still to this day,
I can confidently say,
When you're high, it's like Slaughterhouse Five, right?
Some claim he's an outright felon,
Others: "He kept us safe, quit your yellin'"
But no matter what you think of Cheney,
We can say with great certainty,
He couldn't keep his girl safe from Ellen.