Rick Moranis

He's my all-time favorite Rick,

'Cause I imagine that it would be sick,

If he made light of a bedroom compunction,

Like the dreaded erectile dysfunction,

By exclaiming, "Honey, I shrunk my dick!"


Richard Karn

As Al Borland, he was a fence mender,

In a flannel war, he'd make Grunge surrender;

The "Little Giant" ladder dude,

'Peterman' took his job on "the Feud",

A resemblance to ev'ry sex offender.


Rick Perry

A loyal fifth generation Texan,

Running for gubernatorial re-election;

Son of a loyal Democrat,

Helped his career, then Rick said, "Screw that",

I guess if he knows one thing, its secession.


Richard Dawkins

Best-selling author of The God Delusion,

Says God is an optical illusion;

But chances are great,

If he's at the Pearly Gates,

He'll be quick to chalk it up to confusion.


Ranger Rick

A worthy adversary to Highlights,

More entertaining than all of the Twilights;

And still to this day,

I can confidently say,

When you're high, it's like Slaughterhouse Five, right?


Richard Cheney

Some claim he's an outright felon,

Others: "He kept us safe, quit your yellin'"

But no matter what you think of Cheney,

We can say with great certainty,

He couldn't keep his girl safe from Ellen.