Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
The Most Awkward Holiday Dinners Ever
May 28, 2009
Holidays mean great cookouts, its usually a Time for Turkey. Time for Turducky. If you are with the right person Time to get Turlucky. But its especially time for those annual family dinners. Usually it's a lot of fun but we've all had those dinners where things go wrong. Someone brings their sketchy new boy/girlfriend or some long lost cousin shows up. Well in salute to this I thought I'd take a peek at the most awkward family dinners
Salt brings Pepper to Seasoning's Dinner
"So umm "peppa" Is that how you guys say it? soo you play basketball right?
Oh I was just wondering, I umm just thought..umm my wife made some fried chicken if you would like some.
Hold up son. Hold up. You think just cause I'm made of peppercorn I like basketball and fried chicken? Is that it?
No! No! I just thought you spices liked that kind of thing..right dawg? Home pepper slice?
Oh hell no, "you spices?" Hold me back im bout to grind this "
Trey brings Hottiexx1837 to Shavano's Dinner.
So honey where did you umm "meet" Miss umm Cinnamon?
Well..I was up real late one night and I texted
to 59583 and the girl of my dreams replied.
Oh I see, well do you need to keep the laptop on the table or can she see us from the web cam?
She's a part of this family mom! Just because she has her away message on doesn't mean she's not there! You never understood me! One day when you are added to someone's Top 8 list right behind Tom you will know what its like to be truly loved!
Stacy brings Soulja Boy Tellum to Nelson's Dinner.
Soo Mr. umm Tellum tellus what do you do?
pass them peas and corn, why don't
pass them peas and corn.
Oh, oh okay Here you go. I'm not really sure why you are yelling .and could you please stop jumping on the table I just
Soulja boy off at this dinner, watch me eat this corn on cob, then I'm gone superman dat fowwwllll! Super man dat fowlll! superman dat fowl!!!
Okay how about you get the hell out of here..
Jebidiah brings Squanto to Walker's Dinner.
Listen Squanto I know we said we'd call you for T giving this year its just we had no way to reach you And with Pocahontas being pregnant and all..
Yah no I know it must be hard to find me, what with you living on my old home. No I get it, I show you how to grow corn, you rape my mom it's a fare trade. No I don't want your damn stove top stuffing. I don't even know what that is! I live on a reservation now you bastard! You're using my sacred lambskin as a condom for Tonto's sake! No Jeb I wont quiet down! I want my stuff back! Im still paying for my subscription to Better Teepees and Gardens, what are you doing with it?? What do you have to say for yourselves??
Dude Manifest Destiny?
Son brings Mom to Family Dinner
Guys I would like you all to meet Mom .she and I are
We know Son..she was on this side of the table last year wed rather not talk about your new arrangement.
We never meant for it to happened it just did..
Once again do
want to hear it! And you wonder why Arkansas gets such bad name! Geez. Pass the butter
Zelda brings Mario to Link's Dinner
So umm "Princess" is it now? Who's your new friend?
Link Mario. Mario Link. We met last year in level 8-4. Mario killed a dragon and ate mushrooms to save me, and its been love ever since.
Oh I see Yah no that's cool..he rescues you once and he gets in your pants. No I see its cool, you have me wait for like 15 years till you are ready and you bring this guy in. No it's cool. Yah what's he got, mustache? Yah? Yah? Why don't you go plunge my toilet buddy. I'm out riding horses, traveling across universes for this bitch and you are tripping off mushrooms and jumping on stuff, real brave. I've got a sword! I'm out looking for a triforce while Douche-Bigalo Italian-Gigolo over here is banging my girl.. Why don't you go back go down Luigi's pipe.
Link lets not do this again..we had this discussion.
Yah I get it..you are a tease. You sit up in your tower and give it up to every guy with power up. I get it. I died 9283 times trying to save you and this is the thanks I get?
Harry Potter brings Dumbledore to Weasley Dinner
So professor just wondering if you could pass those penis..err I mean peas
So anybody going out to play some queerditch errr I umm Quiddittch.
Listen kids I think weve all read the news lately its just that..let me show you something from my pensive..hmm Harry where's your wand?
Sir once again that's not my wand..
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.