Sometimes I get choked up when I'm proud. So what? If you didn't tear up when little Rudy made that tackle, then maybe YOU'RE the one with the problem. You probably just don't like football. Pansy. You think you can look down on me for shedding a VERY SMALL tear during a totally MANLY film when you don't even like football? I'll kick your ass. You probably like soccer or something.
A little kid got shot. If you think that isn't worth crying for, then go ahead and make fun of me. But seriously, don't. I'll kill you. Dancing is tough as hell if you dance AT other people threateningly. Haven't you ever seen "Westside Story?" Those dudes stabbed people. Plus there were all these slowmo scenes where guys were dancing with their shirts off in the rain. If that's not tough, I don't know what is. They're not even slightly scared of hypothermia. They just let the rain roll down the crevasses of their hard, rippling bodies. Badass.
Straight up, it's a dog that plays basketball. That's inspiring. He's breaking all kinds of convention and just following his dreams. It's sick as hell. Do you not like dogs or something, idiot? Are you a "cat person?" I have a special term for cat people. I call them "people who I can definitely kill in a fight cause I bench like 270." I've never seen a cat play basketball. Shit, cats probably can't even rollerblade.