The scene is a large room, filled with academic-type characters, the Olympic committee, at benches throughout the room. A man wearing a "The man, The Legend" shirt and a backwards baseball cap sits at a bench in front of the committee.
Head of Committee: Alright, lets get this thing started. This is the hearing to induct Beer Pong, or Beirut, into the Olympic games. Lets keep this short, we all have important Olympic stuff to do, after all, we are running out of time. We only have two years before the next games. The chair recognizes the spokesperson from The World Series of Beer Pong collective.
WSBP Rep: Thank you. It is my point to prove to you today that beer pong is not only a game in which skill, discipline, and experience are key, but also to prove that it is a game which is played on a massive scale and, in fact, is an athletic endeavor.
Committee Member: That is ridiculous. Sure, the game may require skill, but we will not hear absurdities about the athletic nature of this game!
WSBP Rep: I thought you may react this way. I have here a list of bodily effects from large athletic performance. Lets run down the list: