The Ass Burglar: An unsavory character (mainly male) that finds pleasure not only in cockblocking, but also focusing all their attention on attaining another's quarry. 


Easily accomplished with the inebriated, the Ass Burglar can work off of previous charms of their competitor, fooling said inebriated prey into thinking both competitors are one and the same.  It's often easier at a party for the Ass Burglar to get some by looking similar to their competitor. 

After the original hunter has worked his magic and wooed the unassuming prey, the Ass Burglar slips in unnoticed, possibly while the other is off taking a well deserved outdoor bathroom break. 

Lulling the unassuming prey into a defenseless position, the Ass Burglar then uses whatever he can, knowing that he can't compete with the previous man. 

Taking their chances, Ass Burglars then gain the upper hand and control of the situation by making earlier physical advances, made easier by a softened victim.  Going for a kiss often seals the deal, for no True hunter desires sloppy spoils. 

The energy spent by the True man is rendered nothing, for the leechlike qualities of the Ass Burglar are hard to sever once started.  The cowardly hyena Ass Burglar has escaped once again, and left the former man with blue balls. 

It is hard to disrupt a Ass Burglar without conflict and hard not to punch them in the throat, as the True Man still desires to enjoy himself at the party, and decides to continue on his hunt. 

Many women wonder why so many men hover around them during parties…  it is simple… they are out there.  The Ass Burglars.  Guard your quarry!! 

~Truth