(617) dude, all these ppl at the harbor are dressed like indians wtf. come get me.
(781) the british r coming. no homo lol.
(202) I shot burr, that a-hole deserved it.
(956) I was at the Alamo all nite, blacked out, don't remember a thing.
(202) I totally just freed the slaves, Davis is gonna be so pissed. LOL.
(+49 030) Somehow wound up in Poland. crazy night.
(505) I m become deth.
(334) Drunkk as fukk on front seat of bus. No ideaa where i am
(1-334) Don't move. I'm coming to get you.
(+53) Dude the soviets just hooked us up fat wit som nukes
(202) This is the usa
(202) oh man, just boned this fatty. don't tell hillary.
Composed with the help of Kevin Slane and Lee.