I zone out a lot, but I am generally pretty astute when it's time to pick up bad vibes from the dating scene.
I took "He's Just Not That Into You" to heart (or maybe just the title, since the movie, while entertaining, was one gigantic contradiction wrapped up in a movie). But as the movie portrayed, sometimes obvious signs are overlooked.
He decided to take a nap instead of meeting me for happy hour drinks. Ehh, maybe he's just tired.
He didn't text me back for 2 hours while I was waiting to meet up because "his mom was talking his ear off." Maybe he's a nice little momma's boy. I can deal.
But recently, my final, last straw was video games.
I watched a lot of Halo in my undergrad days. A lot. And from time to time, I would even guide a little avatar of my own into a corner and have it stare at the sky. It's kinda a sore subject, so when I was told that this was what outmatched my straightened hair and cute outfit, I got a little upset.
As my roommate drove me to Checkers after the defeated bar outing, I declared, as somewhat inebriated girls sometimes do, "I am not talking to Insert name anymore! Who passes up staying out for more drinks to go play video games?!"
The next morning, as I checked my Facebook notifications for any that my email might have forgotten to tell me about, the defriend move fluttered through my mind. Because in 2009, there are online ramifications for real-life breakups, or "breakups."
"No." I thought. "Too harsh."
I mean, his actions were lame, but I didn't despise him.
You have to either be someone I actually do not know or be an obnoxious, close-minded status updater during election time for me to defriend.
I've actually never defriended a past dating interest, or even an ex.
And so despite the demise or our real-life communication, our social networking tie remained. Until one Sunday morning, when ironically enough, I was doing a little social networking friend cleaning myself. As I scanned through my friends, deleting fray such as:
a) Girls my brother dated and introduced to my family in college
b) Boys met during Spring Break 06 in Cancun
c) Non-English speaking Korean girls who were on my European bus tour
d) People I only knew because they briefly dated my college roommates (I like to call these folks, "deep stalkers")
I noticed that there was one less person on my "E" names page.
"I GOT DEFRIENDED!!" I shouted to my roommate.
After a couple minutes of non-stop laughter at this passive aggressive social networking dis, it all made sense.
If you want to "win," you don't defriend.
Defriending a dating interest (or someone you've actually dated) is the equivalent of handing over the "Checkmate!"
Because although Facebook does not send a notification to the person you have chosen to boot from your social networking cess pool, this is the message that radiates when your actions are realized:
a) I cannot handle that your status updates do not reflect pure misery due to the termination of chances for you to date me
b) I cannot handle looking at your supa hot pictures
c) I do not want Facebook to inform me when you find a better person to date, marry, or post pictures with
So please, if you are thinking about defriending, take a breath. Think it through.
Are you ready to throw the person currently in your social networking friend pergatory into the W column?
Are you ready to give up the victory that easily?
If so, defriend away. But just know, this move will probably be laughed at for days, weeks, months to come.
"[Insert name] DEFRIENDED ME!! AH hahahahahha. I'm so awesome!"
That's what it will (does) sound like.