Organizer: Settle down people, we're about to begin the ceremony for the 10,000th Visitor Awards.
Mustachioed Game Guy: But the winner isn't here yet!
Organizer: That's impossible. How's he going to claim his free iPod Nano?
Mustachioed Game Guy: He isn't. The guy's nuts. The other day I tried to give him a thousand bucks for winning the "Throw the Banana at the Monkey" game, and all he did was exit out of it.
we put so much money into this! Guess Man's even got his "Celebrity Abs Guessing Game" booth set-up.
Guess Man: If he's not coming, I might as well just tell you guys. It was Eminem, not Abraham Lincoln.
The Protector: I doubt he even got the invite. I gave his computer a complimentary virus scan the other day while he was on some seedy website. Full of malware.
Credit Report: And let's not forget his dangerously low credit score!
Penis Enlarger: AND his dangerously small penis
Dorky Girl From His High School: sigh I was going to tell him all about how I married the varsity quarterback.
Credit Report: He would have never believed the number of kids you have
Hottest Girl Ever: bursts into tears Now I'm gonna have to message some other guy from my county who surfs RedTube. I'm so horny!
Organizer: Guys! GUYS! Calm down. He confirmed the invitation, he'll be here. Hell, he even told us where to hold the event!
Mustachioed Game Guy: Wait, he told you where to set-up? That's a little strange. Eyes widen Unless
The Protector: IT'S A TRAP!
Ad-Blocker kicks open the door and opens fire with an assault rifle. One by one he picks off the pop-ups. The only one left is a wounded Penis Enlarger.
Penis Enlarger: You can kill me, but you can't stop natural male enhancement!
Ad-Blocker: Is it really natural if you need a pill?
Penis Enlarger's head explodes.