Every good movie needs a good douchebag. Here are 6 of the best.
Coming from a long lineage of douchebags stretching as far back as western settler Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen, Biff has set the bar upon which all douchebags are judged. With a career in douchebaggery spanning 1955-2015, Biff is the only member on our list whose douchebag antics threatened to destroy the fabric of space-time. That's right, Biff Tannen is such a douchebag, he almost found a way to noogie, insult, and semi-date rape his way into destroying the world as we know it. If it wasn't for Marty McFly and a number of trucks full of manure, he very well may have succeeded. That said, Biff Tannen is so good at being a festering ass that technically, in Back to the Future 2, Old Biff even managed to douchebag himself out of existence. Let's see you do that, Russel Crowe.
There's nothing worse than a happy and well-liked douchebag. Certainly that was the case at The Wedding Crasher's start, when Zachary "Sack" Lodge was all buddy-buddy with his girlfriend's father; Secretary of Treasury, William Cleary. But when he wasn't kissing Christopher Walken's ass, Bradley Cooper's preppy character was lying and cheating on Clarie Cleary, the genuine humanitarian. The only things worse than faking humanitarianism are hunting small birds and taking touch football seriously, but he manages to fit those into his douchebaggy schedule; that douchebag multitasker. Fortunately, Sack's story has a true fairy-tale ending: the douche loses the girl
to a dude who used to prey on vulnerable women.
Are Germans always douchebag terrorists, or is it just in classic action movies? Such is a question asked by the existence of Hans and Simon Gruber of the Die Hard trilogy. The Grubers, are featured in the first and third Die Hard movies- not only as terrorists, but also as total jerks. Hans not only threatens an entire office building full of people, but then also makes it personal by hitting on McClane's estranged ex-wife. After McClane dispatches with the first Gruber by pushing him off a building, Hans' brother Simon decides to get revenge on the entire city of New York in the douchiest way possible: through riddles. Any villain can torture someone; it take a real douche to torture them with riddles.
Picking up where the Biff Tannen Douchebaggery-must-be-genetic theory left off, come the O'Doyles. The O' Doyles are like douchebag missionaries, spreading their brand of jerk-off to cafeterias and hallways throughout every stage of schooling. In the face of death some say that one's true colors are shown, and it is thus a true testament to their family's doucheocity that they continued to chant "O' Doyle Rules" as their car plummeted off a cliff takingwe hopeall of their douchebaggage with them.
Cruelty towards the elderly, witless insults, and an overly-goofy demise are all symtoms indicative of douchebaggery, but you only need to know one thing to diagnose Shooter McGavin's case: he ties a sweater over his shoulders. It is physically impossible to wear a sweater in that manner without being a grade-A douche. If you disagree you're probably a douche.
Think you have to dress like a douchebag, sound like a douchebag, have a douchey catchphrase to be a douchebag? Think again. If all you do is try to crash a plane, run someone over with a bus, create a massive car pile-up, and blow up a rollercoaster, that will do the trick as well. Although a catchphrase would really help take the douchiness to that next level.