When you think about a horse race be it the Kentucky Derby or the Preakness the first things you usually think of are rich people, expensive horses and gambling but if you think harder you will notice that horse racing is a lot like sex.

Pre-Race

Before the race actually starts there is hours of pointless pre-race coverage where they tell you the life story of every horse, the trainer, the owner etc. All this is stuff that you really don't care about. Then the horses walk out and trot around the track letting everyone see them bets are placed, drinks are consumed everyone has a good time.

Post-Time

The horses are coaxed into the starting blocks; bets are no longer taken your stuck with the horse you chose. Call to the Post is usually played this is the sign that the race is ready to go.

The Start

After what seems like forever the gates open and the race starts. At the start the whole thing looks like a jumbled mess that could end the day for the horses with one wrong move.

Mid-Race

The horses hit their stride, the crowd is starting to get excited and the race is going smooth. People are either starting to spend the money they stand to win or curse their stupidity for making a bet.


The Home Stretch

The most exciting part of the race, the only part that matters. The race is won in this integral few seconds. If it's a good race there will be a photo finish with the first and second placed horse being separated by a nose.


Post Race

The winning horse is praised; flowers are placed around its neck and the winning jockey is interviewed and treated like they were the key part to the win which we all know they were not. There will be crying and cheering, sometimes simultaneously.