How's your June, everybody? Cold and rainy and soul-sucking like mine? Awesome! At least it's warm here inside the internet.
And that was a weird intro. Moving on!
Britney Spears greeted crowds in Manchester, England this week by yelling 'What's up, London!?' which is a different city, 200 miles away. I understand though, geography is confusing. Next up on tour: New York/Baltimore and Chicago/Cincinnati! (WWTDD)
Robert Pattinson was mobbed on the streets of NYC this week, where he's shooting a new movie where he looks down a lot and refuses to make eye contact. You know, acting! (WWTDD)
This week, Lindsay Lohan Tweeted a very dark picture, supposedly of Justin Timberlake kissing another girl, with the caption 'where's jb, cheater.' Lohan was quick to blame a hacker, saying that she would never Twitter about her personal life, let alone the personal lives of others. Considering her previous Tweet was a topless self-portrait, I guess we have no choice but to believe her. (WWTDD, Celebslam, Egotastic)
Anna Paquin got totally nakes in the season 2 premiere of True Blood this week. I wish I could say I was surprised, but the show is basically vampire porn, so I'm not. True Blood is what 16 year old girls see when they watch Twilight. (Hollywood Tuna)
Cleave of the week! Kim Kardashian isn't good for a lot, but she's certainly good for Cleave of the Week. I think if I had cleavage like this, I would keep things in it. Right? It's like a body pocket. (WWTDD)
You guys like Olivia Wilde, right? She was #1 on Maxim's Hot 100 list this year, so I'm assuming you do. I wasn't really on the Wilde train before, but this photoshoot for Maxim has me convinced. One ticket, please! 100 bucks? Geez, that's expensive. I need to ask my Mom. Mom, can I go on the Olivia Wilde train? It's 100 bucks. Yeah she said no. (Derekhail)
Ugh, Gwyneth Paltrow. I really try to like her, I do, but when she refers to Billy Joel as 'William,' I just can't. What's next, Jonathan Depp? Jerome Bruckheimer? John Francis Bongiovi, Jr.? (Celebslam, Wikipedia)
So I have this rule where I refuse to write about The Hills' Heidi and Spencer, because despite their constant drama I think they are fucking worthless and I refuse to contribute to their delusions of fame and success. That being said, Al Roker pretty much schooled them on Good Morning America this week, so I'll let this one slide. (IDLYITW)
This week's obligatory hot Megan Fox photoshoot comes from the Berlin premiere of Transformers 2. I mean, the girl is a walking doll. If you look up her skirt there are no privates there, just a blank expanse of plastic that always made me vaguely uncomfortable. (Popoholic)
The Enquirer (grain of salt taken) reported this week that 72 year old Morgan Freeman is boning his 27 year old step-granddaughter. So what? Hugh Hefner is 83 and he's dating two 19 year olds. Age is just a number, right? Oh. Oh yeah the step granddaughter part. That's weird. (IDLYITW)
And this week's Still Got It was a clear win by Miley Cyrus' new boyfriend, Mullet McNosehair, who looks like he belongs in a 80s hair band, and not one of the good ('good'?) ones. Gross. Way to pick 'em, Miles. (Celebslam)