Happy Friday, everybody, and welcome back to school. So what’s it like being back? At least four days behind on your work already? And school started three days ago? Sounds about right. COLLEGE!!!!!!!1
Tonight’s the night you head out to awkwardly rekindle your pre-break hookups, and you’re going to need something big to impress that slut. Here’s some gossip from Hollywood to help you lay the pipe, in the conservatory, with Colonel Mustard.
As most of you know, Lindsay Lohan finally checked herself into rehab this week. What most of you don’t know is that James Franco is to blame. Apparently Lindsay had a HUGE crush on him, and when he rejected her, she got so drunk that she passed out in a hotel hallway at 6am. That was the morning she checked into rehab. So guys, come on. It’s not Lindsay’s fault she’s a dirty, skanky alcoholic. It’s James Franco’s.
Keeley Hazell, a little known 20 year old British actress, had a sex tape leak this week. She seems pretty pissed about the whole thing, which I don’t really understand. I mean, no one knew her before, and now millions of people know her name. And we all know that she gives a pretty mediocre beej. Ohhhhh. That’s why.
Big on the Hollywood front this week is the news that Fergie Ferg and Josh Duhamel are engaged to be married. I guess they're not aware that gay marriage isn't legal yet in California. HEYO!! Get it? Get it? Because she looks like a man?? Brb, gonna go kill myself.
Quote of the week, from the MySpace profile of Britney’s new boyfriend:
“Interests: duuurtt bikes, 4 Wheelin', kung fu flicks, rappin', slappin', tappin'.”
For the record, he also listed The Bible as his favorite book, but only because he used the pages of Leviticus 4:20 to “roll sweet, sweet chiba joints.”
And last but not least, here’s an amazing picture from the Golden Globes of Diddy checking out some golden globes of his own. (No one’s ever made that joke before, right guys? Right??)