Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Cute College Girl of the Week: Illona Agapova
January 23, 2007
: Illona Agapova (It’s Eye-lonah, in case you were wondering).
: 21 – The age when people start telling you, “It’s all downhill from here”.
: University of North Florida. We don’t play football.
: Krasnodar, Russia. You probably have never been there. If you have, call me.
: It’s a toss up between Red Bull with Vodka and a good Martini.
I’m trying to sleep with you, what should my approach be like?
Tell me I have the most beautiful eyes you have seen and/or my rack is better than your last girlfriend’s. But really, I like the sweet, intellectual type who is impressive without talking about himself and is interesting because he is actually genuine.
What’s something that wouldn’t work?
Talking about how you terrorized the new guys who joined your frat, begging, and the ultimate killer is: “So, uh, what do you want to talk about now?”. It then becomes obvious that you can’t carry on a conversation and are putting way too much pressure on something that should come naturally.
What’s your favorite base?
Home. Oh. We were talking about baseball, right?
Is it cool if I still measure foreplay in terms of bases?
Yes, as long as you aren’t narrating all the action with baseball terms. Otherwise, you will strike out and I’ll have to call in for a relief pitcher.
What’s your most embarrassing college moment?
Oh, one time I was pulling out the parking garage and pulled up to a car full of really cute guys. I was trying to get their attention by putting in a random CD that was in my car, I turned the volume up really high before the first song had a chance to play and all of a sudden it started blaring “
?!”. I did get their attention, but that’s because I stepped on the gas and went through a red light to get away.
Who is your least favorite Rice Krispies cartoon, Snap, Crackle or Pop?
Pop. Someone explain to me why he is wearing military clothes.
More pictures of Illona after the jump!
If you have someone you think would make a great Cute College Girl of the Week, email Intern Jake at CuteCollegeGirl@Gmail.com. Don't forget a pic. If she gets picked she'll receive a free BustedTee, which, if she's nice, she'll give to you.
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.