Nah, not Billy Bush.  He is a little bitch, but this entry has nothing to do with him.

I'm talking about this dog:



Yeah, the one on the right.

You've seen the commercial.  In fact, you've probably said to somebody in the kitchen "ROLL THAT BEAUTIFUL BEAN FOOTAGE!!! HAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!", only to be punched in the face shortly after you've made yourself look like an ass again.

Anyway, I see this company's commercials ALL THE TIME.  There are tons of plot holes in each ad's story lines.  In fact, I have many a problem with them.

First, they make Jay Bush seem like a moron for doing the "OH NO, NOT AGAIN WITH YOUR SILLY WAYS!" pose.  But then again, being a moron is hereditary in the Bush ancestry, so I guess that isn't too surprising.

Secondly, they make the Bush dog seem like a disloyal asshole.  This is complete defamation of the canine race.  Everyone should know that dogs are completely, 102% loyal, and wouldn't sell out for money, man.  DOGS AREN'T LIKE THE BLACK EYED PEAS, OKAYLET'S CLEAR THAT UP.

Thirdlishly, dogs can't talk.  Give me a fucking break.  And dogs can't make PowerPoint presentations, and god knows that dogs can't handle making charts on Excel.

Shit, even I can't make a chart on Excel.  :(

Fourthly, dogs can't wear aprons.  That photo is clearly doctored Couric-style, and in times like these where Reuters is putting fire and clips of a crying baby on a flying missile aimed at what is clearly the Statue of Liberty, we should be protesting for honest advertising.  At least.

Fively, I'm not going to stop buying these damn beans.  They're great.  And every time I have them, I think of that scene in the Dennis the Menace movie where Christopher Lloyd has that what-could've-been-a-paedophilic moment with Dennis under the bridge.

You know what part I'm talking about.

Man, I hope know what I'm talking about.