Before we start, it seems weird not to mention the icons we lost this week: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and most tragically, Michael Jackson. They will be missed.
And now, let's make like the scuba guy from Mousetrap and dive right in, shall we?
This week, blogger Perez Hilton called The Black Eyed Peas' Will.i.am a bundle of sticks and was promptly punched in the face by the band's manager, reminding us all to never mess with a band named after an easily delivered injury. (WWTDD)
Chris Brown's verdict was delivered this week, and surprise!, he only has to do 180 days of community service. The Judicial System is officially the nerdy hall monitor of the United States, only giving passes to the popular kids because he wants them to like him. (IDLYITW)
Anna Faris eloped to Maui this week with her now-husband, chubbster Chris Pratt from Parks & Recreation. Proving once and for all that for girls, a sense of humor reigns supreme. A close second? Awkwardly tiny nipples. (Celebslam)
This week, Cameron Diaz finally got a star on the prestigious and extremely selective Hollywood Walk of Fame. Her star is between Howie Mandel and Judge Judy and right below Donald Duck. (Hollywood Tuna)
Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo broke up this week, making this the single longest period of time it's taken a girl to sober up. (IDLYITW)
This week, stills of a sex tape starring Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester hit the internet. But don't worry Leighton, stuff like this happens all the time. You'll get through it. Oh. You give someone a footjob in it? Nevermind. That's fucking weird. (Egotastic, WWTDD)
Oh Twitter. What would we do without you? Well for one, we wouldn't be able to see Katy Perry eating pizza naked in her bathtub. So I guess
Get out your leather cowboy hats and whipping belts, because this week Shia LaBeouf confirmed that an Indiana Jones 5 is in the works. This one's titled Indiana Jones and the Steven Spielberg's Complete and Total Lack of Shame. (Celebslam)
This week, Johnny Depp left a $4,000 tip on a dinner in Chicago. In other news, NYC no longer has any waitresses, as they've all immediately moved to Chicago. (WWTDD)
Attack of the Show! host and nerd wet dream Olivia Munn posed for Playboy this week, marking the first time Playboy has ever based a photoshoot on internet fan fiction. (Egotastic)
Great news! Britney Spears has decided to marry her longtime agent. And if you thought what he's been doing with her CAREER has been great, just wait until you see what he does with the rest of her life! (IDLYITW)
And last but not least, this week's Still Got It. This week's winner is a repeat offender, but that doesn't make her Still-Got-It-ness any less special. So congratulations, Courtney Love. You've still got bones. (WWTDD)