GUY: You know, my parents aren't home, we can just go back to my beach house.
GIRL: But it's soooo romantic out here, isn't it?! I've always dreamt of making love on the beach!
GUY: Oh, okay, but isn't it kind of cold?
GIRL: That's what body heat is for, baby. Come on, let's take of your trunks.
GUY: Shouldn't we put down a towel first?
GIRL: No, no, we don't need a towel. Let's be one with the sea! Take off your trunks.
GUY: But sand everywh Why do you keep saying trunks?
GUY: Ouch! Shannon! That feels like your rubbing broken glass up and down my dick!
GIRL: Oh! Sorry! You were right. About the sand. It's all over my hands.
GUY: I really think we should put down a towel or something.
GIRL: No, we'll be okay! Here, why don't you get on top?
GUY: Why don't we just go up to my bed?
GIRL: Cause this is BEACH SEX! The best kind! Come on, it's great. Ouch! Careful of my sunburn!
GUY: Shh, do you hear something? Shit, is someone coming?! Where's my trunks- er my bathing suit?
Dog barks. Distant cry: "Rodney, come back here!" Man chases dog down beach
GIRL: Haha, that was a close one! You okay?
GUY: I just keep slipping, my toes are sinking deeper and deeper in the sand.
GIRL: I'll get on top.
GUY: Oh God.
GIRL: Oh God! Oh Yes!
GUY: No- my ass! A shell just cut my ass. Why couldn't we have just put down a towel?
GIRL: Are you okay?
Rodney returns, barking and growling. "Rodney! Get back here!" He runs away.
GUY: Let's go inside, Shannon.
GIRL: No, come one, it's so nice out here! Oops, what's that? Oh, just a little sand flea. Mmm it tickles.
GUY: Babe, this really hurts me. It doesn't bother you?
GIRL: Oh God yeah. My vagina is on fire. Your dick is like a rod covered in sand paper. I've just always wanted to do this.
GUY: Let's go inside and clean off.
GIRL: Ohh!! We can have SHOWER SEX! I've always dreamt of shower sex! It's the best kind!!