KENNETT SQUARE, Pa. — After nearly 8 months of over-hyped media reports on the stud racehorse who broke his right hind leg during the Preakness, the could-have-been Triple Crown winner was officially downgraded to glue and dog food Monday.
Barbaro, the prized colt who won the Kentucky Derby, was put out of his misery after his greedy bastard money-grubbing owners finally realized he would never be able to breed. They also mentioned something about it being "difficult for him to go on without pain."
The three-year old equine was amazing on the track, and a favorite of bookies from Philidelphia to Fairbanks. However, he was even more popular with the fans of horse racing, also known as the desperate working poor or the extremely elite upper class.
"I just can't explain why everyone is so caught up in this horse,'' Roy Jackson, who owned the colt with his wife, Gretchen, has said time and again. "Everything is so negative now in the world, people love animals and I think they just happen to latch onto him.''
Devoted fans even wrote Christmas carols for him, sent a wreath made of baby organic carrots and gave him a Christmas stocking, apparently because they had absolutely nothing better to do with their time or money.
The gifts and get well cards will eventually fade, but his owners — who have enough money to own more than 70 other horses on a quaint little 190-acre farm and stable complex — will be able to dry their tears of sorrow with the piles of money they've collected from sappy pricks across the country who donated money to save the horse.
Over the past 8 months, morons who shouldn't have any money anyhow managed to donate more than $1.2 million to purchase an operating room table, a raft and a sling to aid in the recovery of the horse that was worth more money than most of us will make in our lives.
But in the end, the surgeries on the "Little Pony Who Apparently Couldn't" were too much for him to take.
His owners said they were glad they got to spend the last 8 months with the colt, but were even more happy about the $271,000 check they got from Purina, who plans to make a "Thoroughbreds for Thoroughbreds" blend of dog food, which will be marketed to potential dog show champions.