Self confidence
Discomfort caused by divorced Uncle Ned
Number of heterosexual single guy friends from back in grade school that still talk to her a lot
Masturbation
The chances of being a seventy-nine year old oil baron with emphysema
Amount of time you hang out with friends
Number of hours awake in bed waiting for her to come home from "girl's night out" or at the very least TEXT you
How cool your girlfriend is