Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!

I work at OfficeMax, and a few weeks ago I had an old man come in and ask me if it was possible for "citizens" to buy their own phones. Then he asked if we carried them. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd been out of the house in decades.
-Mike R., St. Louis

My work still uses floppy disks…
-Greg, UWO

I once had a job at a bookstore. A woman came in one day, obviously a tourist from a west African country, trying very hard to speak English to me and not doing very well. I speak French, so I helped her find what she was looking for in her native language. When she left, the woman behind her spent the next twenty minutes screaming at me for catering to "those damn Mexicans" until I cried. And no, my manager didn't even let me take a break.
-Rose, VCU

I used to work at a Rainforest Cafe. On a weekly basis, grown men and women would ask me if the animatronic crocodiles, tigers, and elephants were real. One lady actually threw a fit and yelled at me because "I was creating an unsafe environment for children. The crocodile WILL escape." She had to speak to the manager to be assured the animals were machines.
-Billy, Towson University

I work in a group home with schizophrenics and psychotics. I have to wipe there asses after the get done with there business. only to have them turn on me and try to(sometimes succeeding) punch me in the face later that same day.
-Chris, University of Minnesota – Duluth

I was working at an asian restaurant a couple years ago and had a middle aged woman approach me and tell me there's something wrong with our drink machine, apparently whenever she tried to get some soda it just "made a big mess".  I followed her to the machine and asked her to show me what it was doing that was wrong. She proceeded to stare at me inquisitively as she held her glass in one hand and with the OTHER hand pushed the lever, causing sprite to flow down her hand and onto the floor. I was so speechless that without saying a word I just took her glass, went and got a new one, filled it up for her and handed it to her.
- Ethan

My sophomore year of college, I was an intern for a local church youth group.  I was there one afternoon dong some work with students and the youth pastor, and the pastor ordered some pizzas.  After eating, he looked up and calmly stated "I'm going to throw up" and then proceeded to puke his pizza out on his plate.  He couldn't understand why this wasn't normal or why we were all grossed out.

I've been working room service at a popular hotel chain for about three years now. While walking down the hallway with a tray of food, I am constantly stopped by some asshole who thinks he's a comedian only to hear, "Is that for me???" or "Let me take that off your hands for ya!!!" The worst part is that I am forced to laugh at these godawful midwestern comments, and every time I do, I die a little inside.