Guy: Ok, you got it?
Guy: Ok, is it big?
Guy: Are you sure? I mean; it's relatively big, right?
Girlfriend: No, it's about the same size as all the others.
Guy: So it's above average?
Girlfriend: No. It's smaller.
Guy: What!? How many have you seen?
Girlfriend: I've pretty much seen every kind.
Guy: Oh my god! You slut.
Guy: The one you're thinking of is the best you've seen though, right?
Girlfriend: I like it the best.
Guy: Alright, that's a relief.
Girlfriend: Some people have better though.
Guy: Are you trying to make me feel like shit?
Girlfriend: Why don't you ask a different type of question?
Guy: Fine. Can you eat it?
Girlfriend: No. You can't eat it.
Guy: But you can put it in your mouth right?
Girlfriend: No one would.
Guy: Would girls less prude than you put it in their mouth?
Guy: Would girls WAY less prude than you put it in their mouth?
Girlfriend: Still no. Ask a different question.
Guy: Is the owner of it really awesome?
Guy: Ha! Are you going to use it later tonight?
Girlfriend: Probably, if I go to the gym.
Guy: Babe you always look good to me.
Girlfriend: It's not what you think it is.
Guy: Trust me, I know exactly what it is. Does it make you feel good when you use it?
Girlfriend: Uh, I guess
Guy: F*ck yea it does! I'm the f*cking man!
Girlfriend: It's not your penis! It's my iPod!
Guy: Well that's just weird.