So it's been just over a month since your parents split up and you're living with your mom.  On the plus side, she makes a kick ass grilled cheese. She also has a new boyfriend. Allow me to compare the two.


Your Step Potential Father- Makes blatent sexual passes at your mom, and gives you a wink behind her back as he leads her to the bedroom.

Your Grilled Cheese- Tastes so good.  And it would never betray you.

Your Potential Step Father- Has tried, on several different occasions, to bond with you by calling you buddy, and commenting on how "whack" he thinks the new MTV shows are.

Your Grilled Cheese-  Would never try to associate with you because it knows its place as a sandwich.

Your Potential Step Father-  Beats you without mercy.

Your Grilled Cheese- Doesn't taste good with blood.

Your Potenital Step Father- Yells at you when you walk in on him snorting coke off your mom's ass while she's asleep at 2am on Easter. 

Your Grilled Cheese- Is now your only reason for not killing your own mother.

Anyway, Happy upcoming Valentines day!