I was watching the movie Cube today, as I do everyday, and began to wonder "A building this size must have needed some sort of permit to build". It's hard to believe that something of this size, withover 17,000 rooms some of which have traps designed to literly cut people into cubes, got past people. Well here is how I assume it went.
Permit Director: Hello Mr. Henry, is it?
Mr. Henry: Yes.
Permit Director: And what can I help you with today?
Mr. Henry: I would like to build the most advanced death machine I mean condominium ever!
Permit Director: Okay, okay. Can I take a look at your building plans.
Mr. Henry: Okay, here you go.
Permit Director: Scans over plans for a moment Hmm. There are a few things that jump out at me. First of all, is there a reason each room is a 14×14×14 foot cube, with no living accomadations?
Mr Henry: Umm, It's because they are so advanced.
Permit Director: Okay, that makes sense. But what is the need for the room with the sound activated sensors that cause large spears
Mr Henry: Spikes.
Permit Director: Okay, Spikes to come out of the wall?
Mr. Henry: Best goddamn coat room ever!
Permit Director: Umm, okay. How about the rooms with welding torches coming out of the wall?
Mr. Henry: Let me give you the experience. Your at your normal house on Thanks Giving. As your about to cook your turkey, you realize it's to big for your oven. Now your angry. But now imagine your at your luxurious condo. You have this huge turkey. You now walk up to this room in your house, put the turkey inside and you'll be eating turkey of any size soon enough.
Permit Director: Wow! What an innovation! I am now dieing to hear what the room with the razer sharp wire grating that falls from the ceiling is for?
Mr. Henry: Have you ever tried to cut cheese with a knife? Well with that room all you have to do is throw your cheese in and you've got your self cubed cheese.
Permit Director: I know just what you mean about cutting cheese with a knife. Boy do I have some story's to tell! But what about the room with acid sprayers in the walls?
Mr. Henry: Oh! Those are just to kill people.
Permit Director: Umm . APROVED! Sign me up for condo there!
Mr. Henry: I will soon enough! Insane laughter Okay, thank you for your time. When can I pick up the permits?
Permit Director: Sometime next week.
Mr. Henry: Okay, thanks. Bye.