Tim: Where am I? I thought I was about to die, shouldn't I just be dead and not be seeing anything now? I mean there's no way I'm in heaven or hell, that's just stupid.
Voice: Hello, Tim, and welcome.
Tim: Who is that? Where am I?
Voice: Because you were a faithful follower of mine since you took that philosophy class your freshman year of college, you may enter Heaven.
Tim: I don't understand.
Voice: Aren't you an Atheist?
Tim: Yeah, so why am I here in heaven?
Voice: Because I am Ath, the one true god. I have taken all my followers, the Atheists, from Earth and granted them access to my Kingdom. The Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and Hindus, screw those guys; I sent them straight to Hell.
Tim: Oh now I understand. See I thought I would be in Hell because I didn't believe
Voice: You mean you didn't know who I am? I am the great and powerful Ath!
Tim: No, no, I know who you are, I worshipped you everyday of my life. It wasn't like I didn't believe in a Supreme Being or anything.
Voice: Oh good, well now if you're ready, please enter my kingdom and meet your fellow Atheists whom you will spend eternity with.
Tim: Thanks Ath.
Ath leaves and Tim starts talking with some of the other people in Heaven.
Tim: Hey everybody.
John: You didn't give us away did you? Did you tell him that no one had any idea who the f*ck he is?
Tim: No I played it cool.
John: Good, we would have been screwed.