Tim:  Where am I?  I thought I was about to die, shouldn't I just be dead and not be seeing anything now?  I mean there's no way I'm in heaven or hell, that's just stupid.

Voice:  Hello, Tim, and welcome.

Tim:  Who is that?  Where am I?

Voice:  Because you were a faithful follower of mine since you took that philosophy class your freshman year of college, you may enter Heaven.

Tim:  I don't understand.

Voice:  Aren't you an Atheist?

Tim:  Yeah, so why am I here in heaven?

Voice:  Because I am Ath, the one true god.  I have taken all my followers, the Atheists, from Earth and granted them access to my Kingdom.  The Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and Hindus, screw those guys; I sent them straight to Hell.

Tim:  Oh now I understand.  See I thought I would be in Hell because I didn't believe… I mean… nevermind.

Voice:  You mean you didn't know who I am?  I am the great and powerful Ath!

Tim:  No, no, I know who you are, I worshipped you everyday of my life.  It wasn't like I didn't believe in a Supreme Being or anything.

Voice:  Oh good, well now if you're ready, please enter my kingdom and meet your fellow Atheists whom you will spend eternity with.

Tim:  Thanks Ath.

Ath leaves and Tim starts talking with some of the other people in Heaven.

Tim:  Hey everybody.

John:  You didn't give us away did you?  Did you tell him that no one had any idea who the f*ck he is?

Tim:  No I played it cool.

John:  Good, we would have been screwed.