There is a new and beautiful phenomenon in the Internet community: Epic Amazon Review Threads (EARTs). These hidden gems, nestled in a facade of convenient consumerism, shed light on one of the world's oft forgotten facts; stuff is funny. Even more than that, people are funny. In the past, EARTs were the products of solitary figures of wit, but this need not be the case anymore. Let us join the lone warriors and together we can howl into the gleaming light of the Internet.