Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Similarities Between An Incoming College Freshman and One of the Settlers of Jamestown Colony
August 21, 2009
You obtained some basic information about the experience before signing up, but no preliminary inquiry could tell you everything about being there.
You have a lot of unrealistic expectations about how things are going to go.
You packed everything you own and brought it with you. Upon arrival, you will realize that you don't need half of it.
You are in a strange new place. It is scenic.
You have come here because you have some money, or because your family has some money. You might also be intelligent, but either way it took serious cash to secure your place, make the trip, and arrange basic lodgings.
The organizers of this process say that your substantial investment will be profitable and make you rich, though it's not as sure of a bet as they say it is.
You are surrounded by
s. They all dress the same. You might be one of them.
You have almost no practical, real-world skills.
You expect that the experience will broaden you, yet you fear the world outside your immediate area.
The natives living nearby have been there for a long time, and aren't going anywhere. You will only be around temporarily, unless it proves profitable to stay in the area. Either way, you do not respect them, and they do not respect you but might be willing to sell you drugs anyway.
You will complain bitterly about the food situation. Shipments from home will be major events, and tide you over for a while.
You will rarely communicate with anyone back home. When you do, you will often request more money.
During your next few years there, whole new groups will arrive, and whole previous groups will depart.
Hey, somebody brought booze! Stop worrying, it's gonna be great here.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.