Dude:Come on man, you've got the history of philosophy all wrong. Thales of Miletussaid the universe was made of water.

Brosef: No dude, I most definitely think it was beer.

Dude: Whatever man. The point is, I think the main philosophy to be had fromDr. Johnson's lecture was that we are in this giant place called theUNIIIIIIIVVVVVVERSSSSE!

Brosef: Whoa —  Dude. You're so right. I've never thought about thatbefore.

Dude: I mean, like, we are just here man and we can't figure out shit.

Brosef: Dude holy jesus-sauce. I mean, you are so goddamn on the ball. Like, atlast night's kegger I couldn't figure out how to hook up the tubes. It was evenworse when we set up that damn hookah.

Dude: Exactly. That experience is like a giant analorgy, or whatever that wordis.

Brosef: You know one thing that I always wonder man?

Dude: What brosef?

Brosef: If a beer is spilled at a keg party and nobody is there to see it, isit totally weak sauce?

Dude: Let me answer that shit: how could it be a party if nobody was there?

Brosef: Ah shit! You are always right dude. Like that one question you askedand answered in ethics class: if you are banging two sorority girls and theyaren't aware you are cheating do you come clean or not? I mean your answer wasso chill. Crap, I can't remember from all of the alcohol-induced brain damage.What was it again?

Dude: Well let me tell you young padawan. You don't say shit because life islike as Nietzsche said- if you're not getting action you're not being anubermansch.

Brosef: Ah dude!!! Hell yeah man.

Dude: It's days like this man that I wonder about where the universe came fromand all of that shit.

Brosef: That's pretty poetic.

Dude: Of course it is brosef. That was the title of my last essay for Dr.Paul's class: "Where the universe came from and all of that shit"

Brosef: I wish I could be as good as you man. I mean you even beat me atchugging contests.

Dude: It's all about the philosophy going into it man. You're stuck on all yourpast mistakes. Remember what Heraclitus said: "If you go into a keggerafter you totally busted your balls the prior week, this kegger is not thesame. You can't walk into the same river of beer twice."

Brosef: Ah man you are such an inspiration. With your help dude it will onlytake me eight years to graduate.

Dude: Yes brosef. Yes indeed.