My f*cking job is unbelievable, I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First there is the supermodel wanna-be chick. I'll give her credit, sheis pretty f*cking hot, but she's constantly fixing her hair or puttingon make up. She is extremely self-centered and never considers theneeds/wants/desires of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box ofrocks, I'm surprised she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.The only reason I ever want to be around her is to try to get a look upher skirt.

The next chick is exactly the opposite. She is probably one of thesmartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless,yet she is here with us. She is like a -10 on a scale of 1 to 10. I'mnot sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. Ithink she is a lesbian, every time we drive by a Home Depot she moanslike she is creaming her panties.

Finally, the jewel of the crowd is a f*cking stoner. I'm not talkingan occasional toker. This guy is baked before he even comes into work,during work and I'm sure after work. I would doubt that he has been"sober" in the last 10 years easily. And he's only 22. He dresses likea freakin' beatnik throwback from the 1960's. To make it worse hebrings his big f*cking dog to work. Every f*cking day I have to look atthis HUGE F*CKING DOG! This thing usually walks around 1/2 stoned fromthe 2nd hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talkwith it's constant bellowing. Both of them are constantly hungry,require multiple stops at McDonalds and Burger King.

Anyways, I drive these f*cktards around in my van and solve mysteries and sh*t.