- You accidentally slip and fall in front of a bunch of hot girls. Now a beta-male would just shy away and sheepishly get up and walk away like he just pooped in his pants. But a pro dusts himself off and laughs about it as if he just pooped in someone else's pants. Now the most important thing is the following line which he says with a slight wink and grin: "ladies, your looks are dangerous"

- You involuntarily burp at the dinner table with a bunch of important people sitting alongside. Now what you must remember is you are not the only one that feels awkward. If they have a shred of empathy they will probably reciprocate that feeling which fosters it further. You must be the alpha male and realize that empathy is bullshit and take control of the situation. Who would have thought that a burp could give you such control? If you don't show a sign of awkwardness they will love you. Now you must deliver the line with the proper inflection which will completely reduce the stress of the situation which has built in the acetylcholine glands of everyone. Here it goes: "God, every time I eat babies I get such bad indigestion."

- You get pants in public by one of your friends and there are hot girls around, unfortunately (or fortunately as you will soon see). I'm assuming your like 12 years old but it's a freakquent occurrence at drunken raves along with the occasional frat party. The line to deliver is as easy as the girls around you: "thanks [whoever pantsed you]. I know these ladies wanted a closer inspection before they went back to my place."

- You run into an ex-girlfriend (a very very bad one at that) This can be one of the most awkward things in the world, ESPECIALLY if she got hotter. The amateur usually gives an insecure simper to the lady but that is completely mal-apropos. Be the man and when she tries acknowledge you say "Have we met?"

- You're at a party and you really want to get the girl back to your place. A fool would say "How about we get out of here?" First of all, never proposition with a semi-rhetorical question. That's like the Challenger space shuttle for social quips. You have to be a little more professional with it. Try something like this: "I have to leave, but if you want to keep drinking shitty beer with shitty people you can or you can actually have fun back at my place."