Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!

I work in a relatively 'scummy' bar. The other day a woman heavily pregnant came to the bar asking for a 'very strong drink'. I calmly asked her if she should be drinking a 'strong' drink rarther than one without alcohol she just replied 'well im drinking for two'.
-Chad, UK

I interned at a police department one summer in college. One day a woman called the office and asked what semen looked like under a black light. When I asked why she needed to know this, she said that she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her and wanted to have him arrested for it.
-Ashley, Michigan State University

Last summer I worked in an office with thirty 45-year-old women.  One day, I overheard my coworker telling another about the woman whose cubicle I inherited.  It turns out that after she was fired, they went through her desk and found the bottom drawer filled with her hair, which she collected over 5 years.  That was the drawer I kept my food in.

I work at campus security and regularly get verbally abused by elderly professors and young'n students alike, all with god-complex, which is bad enough. One time, a very distinguished and world-renowed professor decided to run over one of my co-workers with his car, then proceeded to lock himself in it, reading a book. Also, we've gotten friendly with the police bomb-squad. 
- Daria

I work at a water park and we don't close for bad weather like lightning, instead we still have to guard the water. Including a 10 foot metal pole with water spewing out of it. My employer ensures us that it's safe, I'm still trying to figure out how.

I work at a grocery store in the produce section. The other day a guy walks in with his daughter who seems to be about 3. While he's not looking she reaches up and grabs a plum, takes a huge bite, and sets it back on the shelf. I see this and kinda laugh—the father notices. He turns and grabs the fruit, "did you take a bite of this?" The little girl says no (in a cute way, too). "are you sure you didn't bite this? These look like your teeth marks" Again the girl says no. The guy puts the fruit in his cart and starts to walk away when the girl asks this question: "Daddy? Am I gonna die?" …… The man pauses and then says (without looking at her) "yes. Because you lied."
-Derrick H.