I dated a girl for three and a half years before she decided to tell me that she was a lesbian. I guess I should have noticed some of the tell-tale signs. She rode a motorcycle. She got a tattoo saying "I love you, always forever" for a childhood friend who was female. And she had a fairly short haircut. I guess I'm just an idiot.
For our one year anniversary, I planned to take my girlfriend to a place overlooking the beach and watch the sun set. Extremely romantic stuff, I know. She decides to scrap my plans and take me along with her while she shops.
Last night my girlfriend of a year saw on my internet history that I had looked at a porn site. After screaming at me and accusing me of not being happy with our relationship, crying, and then accusing me of trying to hook up with the girls on the website, she broke up with me. This is the same girl who I caught sexting her ex 3 months into our relationship. Wow. Bat-sh*t-crazy.
I just took a girl that I met at work out on our first date. We had been texting each other for about a week and a half, so I assumed she would be comfortable around me. Not so much. She barely says anything to me the first hour of our date. We got some ice cream and then went to hang out in a park. While we were sitting on the swings talking, a search light from a cop car shines on us. We walk over and the cop writes me a $50 ticket for being in the park after dark. When we were done with the cop, I realize it was time to take her home. I walk her to the door and her step dad pops out and says, "10:30 means 10:30. I don't think I want you seeing her anymore." I looked at my watch it was 10:32.
I dated this guy for three months. During the relationship, he got really sick with the flu, the diarrhea kind of flu. Being the good girlfriend I am, I decided to take care of him. I fixed him dinner, watched Battlestar Galactica with him, and made sure he got plenty of liquids. The next morning, I'm awoken to him saying, "Shit, I shit the bed. Get out of bed." He had shat the bed not once but twice. What a great way to wake up in the morning.
After about a month in China I started dating this girl, she was an 18-year-old Teacher's Assistant in my friend's class. To top it all off she was damn hot and, most surprisingly to me, a virgin. One night she decides she's ready to lose her virginity so we start making out. Eventually, I undress her and go down on her for a little bit. A little later she starts unfastening my belt, undoes my zipper and pulls down my pants and boxers, then stops. She looks very confused about something so I ask what's up. She responds, "What are these?" and points at my balls. How could you be 18 and not know that men have testicles?
Three months after we broke up, my ex-girlfriend wrote me a full page letter about how her "rejecting God's love" caused her to cheat on with me with one of my best friends. While I was passed out in the next room.
-Z.S. University of Maryland