I can't believe summer's almost over!  Let's be best friends forever, k?

Rumors hit this week that Christopher Nolan has cast Megan Fox as Catwoman in the next Batman movie, despite the fact that no script exists yet.  But hey, an internet can dream, can't they?  Dream so obnoxiously that Christopher Nolan is forced to make it a reality. (IDLYITW)

Chris Brown was finally sentenced this week for brutally beating up Rihanna back in February, and at last, justice has been served.  In the form of mildly inconvenient community service.  That'll show him! (IDLYITW)

But wait, there's more.  Turns out Chris Brown was involved in two other incidents even before this one.  Looks like a history of violence to me, and not the blockbuster starring Viggo Mortensen and Ed Harris.  I wish Ed Harris was involved. (WWTDD)

Helena Bonham Carter hit the beach this week, and first I was going to comment on the obvious, but damn, look how fat her kid is!  She looks like she should be in liederhosen gnawing on a bratwurst!  Fat kids, hehehe!  Also, gross. (WWTDD)

Remember the story last week about that reality show stripper murderer?  Well, great news for humanity, he hung himself in a motel room this week.  Yikes!  VH1, looks like you may have to ramp up your screening process.  Or just set one up period. (WWTDD)

Oh man.  Get excited for the movie Black Swan.  Why?  Because Darren Aronofsky is directing, of course.  His stylistic vision of good versus evil is the quintessential oh nevermind, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman have aggressive lesbo sex in it. (Egotastic)

Cuba Gooding Jr (remember him?) is in trouble this week, after it was revealed the married man tried to get a little on the side last month.  Oh shit!  Looks like those Siberians weren't the only dogs in Snow Dogs, if you CATCH MY DRIFT.  (Celebslam)

So I have some good news and some bad news.  The good news is, there was a topless rally in California this week.  The bad news is, all the hot chicks were out of town.  Now you can decide whether or not you want to click on the pictures. (WWTDD)

Wow, you still clicked?  Really?  How was it?  Man, I'm sorry.  I tried to warn you!  As a form of apology, please accept these topless pictures of Carla Velli, some Italian actress.  They should do the trick. (IDLYITW)

Lindsay Lohan's house was robbed this week, and the intruder got away with some 'incriminating videos'.  In other words, a sex tape.  Sooo someone broke into Lindsay's house and only stole a sex tape.  Better practice your indignant face, Lindsay. (IDLYITW)

Cleave of the week this week comes from Erika Christensen, who posted this picture to her Twitter, reminding us yet again why the hell Twitter exists in the first place. (Egotastic)

Whoa, Kevin Federline is SO FAT!  There is no story related to this, just pictures that are hilarious.  I like to pretend that his head is just slowly shrinking, and his body is the same as its ever been.  Glad to see he's doing well. (Celebslam)

Melanie Griffith entered rehab this week, and you know her husband Antonio Banderas is behind that shit.  It's Zorro versus the grown-up version of Thora Birch from Now and Then.  Of course he's going to win. (Celebslam)

Have you guys seen The Informers?  Me neither, but from what I can tell, this naked scene with Amber Heard is the best part of it.  So watch this and then you can say you saw the whole thing.  And it was a porn. (Egotastic)

Speaking of nudity, surprise surprise, Anna Paquin doesn't have a problem with it.  She told Nylon this week that she doesn't think 'the naked body is particularly interesting.'  I'll just assume she's talking about the male naked body. (Egotastic)

And last but not least, this week's Still Got it.  Carmen Electra looked a little rough, but you can't blame her for not wearing makeup.  Lady Gaga looks like she's having a seizure and a stroke at the same time, but you can't blame her for dancing.  Lindsay Lohan on the other hand, you can blame her for the collagen. So congrats, Lindsay.  You still got it*.  (WWTDD, Celebslam)
*a sex tape coming out.