If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be? It probably shouldn't be one of these guys.

Jesus: It's wishful thinking on your part if you think that someone who is worshipped by a good portion of the world would 1.) Be free for dinner and 2.) Want to dine with you. Okay, so maybe he does agree to attend your dinner party, what are you going to talk about? Odds are you probably have some deep questions regarding salvation and the afterlife but once those questions are addressed prepare yourself for at least one or two awkward silences. Forget about turning the conversation towards pop culture because at the ripe old age of 2012 there is a good chance he did not stay up late enough to watch Lady Gaga's VMA performance. Since you probably have nothing interesting to say he will most likely take the reins of the conversation. If you think it's annoying to listen to that one friend you have talk about how cool his Dad is because his boss occasionally gives him tickets to Yankee games, just imagine listening to someone talk about how their Dad created the entire world.

Michael Jordan: Jordan is considered to be the world's greatest basketball player and is a successful business man. As if that wasn't enough he also co-starred with Bugs Bunny in the cinema classic "Space Jam." I guess you could always ask him what it was like to win an NCAA Championship, two Olympic Gold Medals, and six NBA Championships. Things will inevitably become awkward once you bring up (and you will) his attempt at a baseball career, alleged gambling problems, or record setting divorce. By the time you get to telling him the story of that one three-pointer you hit during a JV game he will be halfway out the door.

George Washington: He was the leader of the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War and the first President of the United States of America, if that doesn't make him a cool dinner guest then I don't know what would. But wait, he also had wooden teeth, powdered his hair, and owned slaves. You can also guarantee that he is going to be very patriotic, and as we all know there is a fine line between voting in every election and donning an American flag themed sleeveless shirt to your eldest son's wedding.

Denzel Washington: Denzel is one of the hardest working men in show business, so on the off chance that he actually had time off would you really feel comfortable prying him away from his family just so you can pick his brain over dinner? Don't bother bringing up his alma mater, Fordham University, because it is highly unlikely that he hung out with your friend, Steve "Fat Carl" Carlson, during his time there. If you ask him which movie he enjoyed making the most, you better hope he doesn't say "Malcolm X" because let's face it, you probably aren't well-versed on the "Black Nationalism" movement. On the plus side, if there is one person in the world talented enough to act like they sincerely enjoy your company it would be Denzel Washington.