Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Issue One Hundred and Twenty-Five
September 17, 2009
In color. Actually, two colors: black and white.
In school, I gave 110%. No wonder I failed math.
-Eric Van Der Schlogen
My grandfather winked at me when he told a secret, turns out the secret was that he was having a stroke.
Most boring super-hero battle ever
Aquaman vs. Storm IN
I just had a really nice dinner and a lot of wine at the Space Needle in Seattle. I got so drunk the room felt like it wasn't spinning.
I wonder how cheerleaders on strike protest.
Are socks like condoms for people with foot fetishes?
You're an alcoholic if
you call Ping Pong Balls, "Beer Pong Balls."
Going though airport security is like a really boring obstacle course.
I get mistaken for other people all the time. Like last week at a bar, a girl mistook me for someone who wasn't going to stare at her tits during our conversation.
People talk about having "mind-blowing" sex. I'd rather have dick-blowing sex.
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