Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!

Im a nurse who took a job with a home health company here in memphis. I had a new patient to see one day who suffered from multiple sclerosis. People who stay in bed alot, like this guy, tend to get a bit constipated. Looking back, this was perhaps the most surreal moment of my entire life. As he lay there on his stomach, his head at the foot of the bed, he was eating a big bowl of raviolli while smoking and watching jerry springer. I, on the other hand, was digging sh*t from his pooper with a stool spoon

While in high school I used to work for a telemarketing agency. Basically customers would call us to open new cell phones lines or alter the plans. One day I had what sounded like an older male call, he told me I had a sexy voice and asked if I minded if he got naked during the call. Awkwardly I told him I didn't care what he did as long as he didn't talk about it and he planned to buy new lines of service… Ugh the things we do for commission.

So I work at a gym helping the elderly regain muscle function and range of motion…. today I trained a woman in her late 70's for an hour. She was wearing black spandex. She had the worst camel toe possible for the entire session.

I work at a cell phone store and recently I was selling a Blackberry to a deaf woman so she could email and text message. After typing every detail about the phone on the computer so she could read it and setting up everything for her, I proceeded to show her what came with the phone. Everything was going fine until I absentmindedly showed her the included stereo headphones. The look on her face said more than words ever could.
-Nick P.

In high school I worked at a fast food Italian restaurant (you can probably guess which one.) This middle-aged lady comes up and orders spaghetti. I ask, "marinara or meat sauce?". She asked for meat sauce. Turns out this lady was a vegetarian. I was written up because I did not tell the lady there was beef in the meat sauce.
-Mike, Ball State University

While working in my neighborhood's Home Depot, in the pumber department, a woman of about sixty years old came to me, along with her husband, and asked me if I was the guy to "give her some wood." I had no choice. I looked her right in the eye and said "you bet you're sweet ass I am."

I used to work at Chuck E. Cheese. I was the one who dressed up in the mouse costume and spent my days being kicked in the crotch over and over. As if that wasn't bad enough I once had a guy chase me around the store with a knife. He explained to my manager later than he had no intention of hurting me but was just trying to establish "trust" with his child who was afraid of the costume.