"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, Craig. Seriously dude, stop throwing rocks." – Jesus H. Christ

"No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent. And if you don't like it, too bad. I'm the president." – Abraham Lincoln

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. Man, she was hot. I am going to be thinking about that ass for a long, long time." – Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. But feel free to shoot yourself in the face. That is not a waste." – Kurt Cobain

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall. No, not that one! That was the only thing keeping the commies out." – Ronald Reagan

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The married guys know what I'm talking about. Am I right, fellas?" – Mahatma Gandhi

"There never was a good war or bad peace. Except that one time when we freed ourselves from the British. That was awesome. Overall, I would say that was a good war." – Benjamin Franklin

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Oh God, I think I see a spider crawling up my pant leg. Get it off. GET IT OFF!" – Franklin D.Roosevelt

"Let my people go! No? OK, what if we leave you all the fat chicks?" – Moses

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction. But what do I know? I'm only Albert Fucking Einstein." – Albert Einstein