Ahh…freshmen. You can be approximately ten miles from home, living in a cinder-block, jail cell "dorm" and you will still think you are the coolest thing to grace each and every sh*tty house party. Two years ago, you were still taking the bus to school and rocking a Jansport. But your newfound independence will make you think you should get a tattoo. Common sense says you shouldn't. Here are the top five tattoos you will want to get your freshman year, but just – no. Don't.


5. The Rite of Passage Tat

We get it, you're 18. You don't need to permanently engrave "Mom," random Chinese characters, or some sort of butterfly tramp stamp on your body to prove that. There are many ways to mark your ascension to adulthood. Try…voting!






4. The Hipster/Emo Tat

You have a lot of feelings. And sometimes, you can't contain them all in your moleskine journals, so you string an emo poem on your arm with the lingering stench of your Jr. High goth days. I'm not saying you won't still feel those emotions when you're a suburban bank teller, but the story will only be embarrassing over TGIFriday's appe-teasers with coworkers. And for the hipsters out there: an ironic rose is a rose is still a trashy rose.






3. The Pop Culture Reference Tat

There is a reason people use the phrase "15 minutes of fame." You know what doesn't last for only 15 minutes? A Twilight tattoo. Yeah, it's fucking sweet now. But it's going to be awkward to explain to your grandchildren why you have lonelygirl15 or the word "twitter" permanently inked on your back.












2. The Relationship Tat

You're in love. It's awesome. You totally shared notes in chem lab and as soon as she swiped you on her meal card, that was it. You're soulmates. It would totally make sense for you to commemorate your love by getting matching tattoos. Or, maybe you're in a stressed long-distance relationship and the perfect way to show your undying devotion is with a tattoo of your significant other's name. Well, come May (or, honestly, probably after first semester) it will sink in that you will need to date someone named "Jessica" for the rest of your life.






1. The Roommate Tat

It's totally possible that your university randomly assigned you with your ultimate bff but maybe wait until second semester before you have a drunken ladies' night decision to get tattoos. And dudes, it may seem hilarious to get matching tits tattoos with your bros, but believe me, there will be a time when that is awkward. Also, the only reason you should have your room number tattooed on you is if you plan on getting blackout drunk and need a location for your new frat "boyfriend" to drop you off in the morning. You'll just have to find a way to spend the rest of your life living in Suite 186C.