It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

So I stole my roommate's mattress and put his bed on pop cans. I took the mattress upstairs to the girl's room that is absolutely obsessed with him. He does not like her and thinks she's an absolute creeper. I made his bed back up and when he sat on it the cans collapsed. He spent 20 minutes searching for his mattress and another 20 trying to convince the girl to give his bed back. He didn't think it was me, so he went and poured water on the guys bed he thought who did it. Sorry to both of you.
Dylan Helber, Capital University



Hey Stinky! I really hated that you insisted on sitting next to me everyday in history last fall, even though it was apparent that I could not stand the horrible odor that came from your body. T'was like a mixture of garlic, excrement, and depression all packed into one bag of shit. So I found it completely necessary during our first midterm, when I could no longer take your stank, to stand up midway through the exam and shout "QUIT LOOKING AT MY EXAM, D*CKHOLE!" Little did I know that you would end up getting kicked out of the class, but I suppose the F you received stood not only for failure, but for foul as well. It's called deodorant; use it!
Matthew Malanche, CSU Fresno

Oh hey buddy, remember when you locked me out of our room about two weeks ago for no apparent reason? You probably don't but I used that time to empty what was left of your Smirnoff green apple bottle and replace it with water. Watching you do four or five "apple bombs" with your friend who was visiting for the night made it way more funny than I thought it could be, especially when you told him "Yeah I know, you can hardly taste the alcohol."
Zach L, Penn State

Hey Sarah, remember when you banged my ex-boyfriend that I was trying to make up with, and you denied it while you were cheating on YOUR own boyfriend? Well I do. Remember how you gave me a chance to get back at you when you broke up with your ex and I banged him in your face, and you cried all night and sent messages on facebook to your ex saying you were sorry, and how you hated my ass. And how you still denied banging my ex while I was still with him!? Have fun bitch, your ex is mine!
Kiara Rivera, School Not Given

My roommate was always getting shitfaced on the weekends. And Thursdays. And Tuesdays. One night he came back blackout drunk and in his usual fashion stripped down to his boxers, then periodically went to the bathroom to puke and he kept coming back smelling terrible so the next time he left I locked the door and when he discovered it was locked he went looking for his unlocked room door. He walked into the female RA's room on the floor below us, half naked, at 3 AM, waking her up. He ended up passing out in the hallway on her floor, and was found by maintenance at 8AM. I hope the floor was comfortable enough for you!
Anand Agrawal, Emory University



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