My ex-girlfriend's favorite band was Nickelback
I went with my (now ex) girlfriend to a Coinstar machine. It's one of those things where you dump in coins and it gives you a check for the amount so you don't have to count them out and roll them. On the side of the machine it says that the fee is 9 cents for every dollar of coins you put in. I commented how that was a rip off. She replied word for word. "Yeah. 9 cents for every dollar, that's like twenty percent!" She's trying to get into grad school
My Girlfriend was watching Saturday Night Live online and stopped it to ask me "When does SNL come out on T.V?"
I had been dating this girl for almost a year. One day i called her just to talk and i could tell she was upset. After some talking she told me she had been talking to this guy on facebook. She gave me her password to go read the conversation. They were making plans to hook up. In one of the messages she wrote " i cant wait to get together but we gotta wait till next week i need to get mark's Birthday and our one year anniversary out of the way this week"
-Mark, Thompson Rivers University
My friend matt was worried that he got his girlfriend pregnant and called me to ask what kind of pregnancy test they should get, when I came over to their apartment I saw her w/ the pregnancy test under her tongue like a thermometer as matt watched
The summer after my freshman year I was dating this girl on and off for about a year or so. She had told her parents numerous times that we had not had sex yet even though we had because she thought they would be mad at her. One day we were having sex in her basement and her dad came home from work a few hours early. We didn't notice until he came down the stairs and walked right by us to grab something. He went back up the stairs without so much as a word and a few seconds later he called her up and yelled at her for getting the couch dirty.
I had a huge crush on this one girl back in 8th grade. So one day, I worked up the nerve to complement her on her earrings while we were working on a project together in history. A year later, her best friend told me that she had ran straight to her and told her how disgusted she was I was hitting on her after class.
Some guys give their penis a name. My boyfriend gave his a voice.
This week's "You either misused those quotations or your girlfriend was a lesbian either way, awesome!" Award goes to:
I was dating a girl in high school for 18 months when she began yelling at me one day. The idiotic rant could be defined by the moment she told me, "I was only with her for the sex". The kicker? We were both virgins and I had never once even asked her about sex.
-Sean, Texas State