Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Naive Fertility Doctor
October 27, 2009
: So what can I help you with today?
: Well, my wife and I have been trying to conceive for a few months now.
: We've tried everything but it just doesn't seem to have an effect.
: I see. Tell me, how much do you love each other?
: Oh, a lot. I mean, this whole baby thing has caused some stress but nothing we can't handle.
: For this to work, you have to be sure you both love each other very much.
: I understand, doctor.
: You'll need to hold hands together, look up to the moon and stars
: Of course, of course.
: wish upon them for your baby
: Uh, yeah haha.
: You can laugh at my methods all you want, but it's the only way you'll get your baby.
: By uhh By wishing?
: But of course. How else is the stork going to know you want one?
: Look, doctor. I understand if you want to lighten the mood but please take us seriously.
: Everything I've told you today is me taking you seriously. You
to love each other very much or you'll never get your baby. The storks have a knack for knowing these things.
: This has gone far enough. Thank you, doctor but I think we'll be going elsewhe-
: Wait, wait. There is one more thing you could try Angela.
: Do you have a love garden?
: Oh God.
: No, really. All you need is a love garden and a baby seed (to man) you'll need to plant that. You'll have your baby in a matter of months. Though I'll be darned if I know how. Modern medicine is beyond me. What's wrong with a traditional stork, y'know?
: It sounds to me like you're confusing this love garden thing with sex.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.