Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
I'm an inner city firefighter. The other day I was loading a 97 year old patient into the ambulance. I'm on the end of the cot raising him up. His feet were sticking off the end. I see some gross stuff, but I can't take feet. As I lifted his nasty, yellow, cheese smelling feet, they rubbed all the way up my chest. I looked down just in time to meet his Frito looking big toenail with my chin. Took me twenty minutes to spray my puke off of my gear.
I'm a second year teacher who teaches a government class for 12th graders. Yesterday, half of one class thought that Washington D.C. was actually in Washington state.
I used to work at a crappy old cinema during college. The manager was so cheap he'd understaff so I'd usually be the ticket taker and also run the concession stand so when people walked in I'd shout for them to come over to me so I could tear their ticket. The manager also insisted we stood at our "post" for our entire shift. That's why I regularly pissed in the concession stand's tiny under-the-counter sink. And yes, on more than one occasion customers walked in while I did it. They couldn't see anything so I just acted like nothing was going on and kept my junk under the counter.
I'm part of a recruitment team at my office, and my daily routine involves cold-calling potential candidates to arrange interview sessions for them. Despite the fact that I send e-mails with the complete interview address, they always call me back on the day of the interview to enquire the address. One time, a girl called me to have her interview postponed and she asked for the full address again. She went to get a paper and a pen to write it down, while I waited. For a whole 10 minutes, and I can still hear her talking to a guy in the background. Apparently she forgot that I was still on the line, and she was having sex.
I'm a body piercer and a couple weeks ago I had to pierce the worst customer ever. She wanted her tongue pierced, so I took her back to my piercing room and set up, and the whole time she was telling about how scared she was. Well I clamp her tongue and tell her to stick it out as far as she can and to keep it out. She started to jerk her tongue back, so I told her again that it was very important that she keep her tongue out. After she jerks her tongue back three more times I tell her if she cant keep her tongue out I wont pierce her. Well she jerked her tongue back again and somehow manages to spit a loogie at me at the same time. It landed right on my top lip.
I used to work at a local version of Applebees; basically a moderately priced family restaurant full of teeny boppers and old people (aka no tips). One night as I was delivering drinks to a table of 5, a 7 year old shoved me as he was running by forcing me to spill an entire tray of drinks all over a customer. Apparently he was trying to get to the bathroom to throw up. He didn't make it.
A guy came into my video store and yelled, "WHERE DA PORNOS AT!?"