Let's face it, you're a busy human being. Between sleeping in and putting it off, you've barely had time to come up with a good Halloween costume this year. Thank God we're here to help. Here are a few quick and easy Halloween costumes that are sure to make people go "oh, that's kind of funny I guess…"!

Sexy Ghost

What you need
  • Sheet
  • Scissors
  • Legs
  • Heels
Tips for "selling it"
  • Make sure to yell "boo" at least once during orgasm


What you need
  • Too-tight T-shirt with stupid pattern on it
  • Too-tight jeans
  • Hair gel
  • Imported beer
  • Cigarette
  • Scarf
Tips for "selling it"
  • Scoff at most things people say
  • Dance with your hands only, no hips
  • Be generally obnoxious and dismissive of American customs

Drunk Uncle

What you need
  • Filthy dress shirt
  • Loose necktie
  • Bottle of whiskey
  • Red blush for gin blossoms on nose and cheeks (or just rub your face raw all night, you'll probably be too drunk to feel it)
Tips for "selling it"
  • Hit on younger girls
  • Request Billy Ocean songs all night
  • Pretend your excessive drinking is "just part of the costume"

Lady Gaga

What you need
  • A dress
  • Random garbage on your face and head
  • Literally no other ideas
Tips for "selling it"
  • Try to make out with boys AND girls
  • Keep face covered at all times
  • If at all possible, expose buttocks


What you need
  • College hoodie / Sweatpants / Sandals / Hat
  • Lanyard
  • Books and backpack
  • Course schedule and campus map
Tips for "selling it"
  • Look generally confused and intimidated
  • Constantly bring up high school friends
  • Ask people to friend you on Facebook


What you need
  • A box large enough to hold your lazy, uncreative body
  • No shame
Tips for "selling it"
  • Play with toys, take a nap
  • Be weird. Like, creepy weird
  • When people ask about your costume, say you "did it for the show"

Post-Hulk Bruce Banner

What you need
  • Shirt and pants/shorts that you don't care about
  • Scissors
  • Bare feet (this one's easy!)
Tips for "selling it"
  • Act like the events leading up to your current state are a fog.
  • Look at hands and scream "What have I done!?"
  • Drink only radioactive beverages. Like "Sparks"

Walk Signal

What you need
  • Black pants
  • Black shirt
  • Christmas lights
Tips for "selling it"
  • Stay in "walk" position all night
  • Hang out near outlets
  • Don't spill beer and electrocute yourself, unless you want to make everyone laugh

Shut In

What you need
  • Wine-Stained blanket
  • Cigarette
  • Junk food
  • Cat (if available)
Tips for "selling it"
  • Speak to cat as if cat is person
  • Compulsively scratch yourself
  • Start crying uncontrollably for no reason


What you need
  • Cut up shower curtain
  • Red paint
  • Terrified expression
Tips for "selling it"
  • Act like you're from an overpraised horror film from 1960
  • Get killed off in the first 10 minutes of the party
  • Spawn a dozen shitty sequels

Happy Halloween, everyone! Remember, you can win Cash Money if you submit your halloween costume to us. But HOW?! Just go HERE and upload it!