Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
Over the summer I worked at a daycare and we took a kindergarten class outside. This one little boy (who is a little crazy in the head) came up to me and goes "I gotta go potty!" Even though we asked if anyone needed to go before we went outside, I promptly took him to a bathroom. Upon looking in I saw he had already crapped his pants and was picking it up (bare-handed) to throw in the toilet.
I worked at KFC while in high school. One day around the holidays, an angry group of people stormed into the store and proceeded to drag an employee out into the lobby and beat him with the Christmas tree. Oh yeah, that employee was a convicted rapist and the mob was the victim's family.
When I was about 15, I worked at a family restaurant. One day, a woman came in with her newborn baby. She had a high chair and her detachable car seat, but she still insisted that I hold her baby while she went to the bathroom. The baby decided she didn't like lunch and threw it up all over my work shirt. I wasn't given a new shirt and couldn't go home to change. I had to work the next 6 hours smelling like baby vomit.
I'm a nurse in the ICU and one night after a patient's family left, I saw the nurse page light go off at the room. I stand at the doorway in utter disbelief when I see a 6 year old puking BBQ ribs all over my floor. Apparently the family was just going to "let him chill at the hospital" and pick him up in the morning.
I work as a land surveyor. We drive out of town to the job site every morning. Every morning while we're driving to the site my party chief (boss) cleans his ears with a mechanical pencil. When he's done he looks at it like he's made a new discovery. Then he 'cleans' his teeth with the same pencil. He also told me today that the phone wasn't invented until the 1970s.
This weekend I was at the cash register ringing up these two ladies (one of which had walked in screaming on her cell phone "you just sit there on your ass, and when you get out of jail, don't even think about F**ing calling me!". I asked if there was anything else they needed, and she said "how about you?" and then told me not to worry, because she just left her husband (the one in jail) and because she's all "messed up down there and can't have babies, so we can F*** like rats!". Then her friend said "well, maybe he doesn't like chocolate!" to which she answered "he can close his eyes! F***!! Then it's all the same!"
I used to work at a Vietnamese restaurant near a lot of office buildings so we were swamped during lunch. One of the regular lunch customers who could have easily been my father's age and twice as fat told me that I'd be beautiful when I was forty (what does that even mean?) and continued to flirt every day he came in for lunch. My manager didn't understand why I didn't want him to be seated in my section so I had to serve him whenever he asked to be sat in my section.
-Amy, Southwestern University
Last summer I worked as a swim coach for a large local subdivision.. It was the beginning of the season and I was teaching younger kids how to swim the butterfly. One of the most important things to do when swimming butterfly is to touch the wall as your finishing the race with two hands. After saying this repeatedly, I tested the kids at the end of practice in a big group and asked one particular girl in the back "How many hands do you touch with on butterfly?" She looked at me awkwardly. I repeated myself and again just a nervous look. Very frustrated, I yelled, "Come on! I said it a bunch of times! You should know this!" All of a sudden the girl starts crying hysterically and runs to tell her mom who is sitting with the rest of the parents. Then I finally saw what was wrong. The girl only had ONE ARM. I didn't make her swim butterfly the rest of the season.
-John, Georgia Southern University