Me- Hey, I'm Casey.
Dane Cook- I'M DANE!!! HOW WEIRD is THE CONCEPT OF NAMES!!! I WAS EXPECTING YOU TO HAVE LIKE AN OBBY NAME!!! LIKE BOBBY OR ROBBY OR EVEN OBBY!!!
Me- Well, no I am just Casey. So I am pretty excited for college. What about you?
Dane Cook- DUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDEEEE!!!!! IT IS GOING TO BE SO CRAZY!!! THERE IS GOING TO BE SOME CRAZY TIMES!!! YOU KNOW HOW COLLEGE IS!!! WE ARE GOING TO HOOK UP WITH SO MANY CHICKS!!! IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE WHATEVER CHICKS HAVE SEX WITH ME WILL FIND THEIR HUSBANDS RIGHT AFTER THEY SLEEP WITH ME AND THEN THE WOMEN WOULD FLOCK TO ME!!! PEOPLE WOULD CALL ME GOOD LUCK CHUCK!!! THAT WOULD BE A SWEET MOVIE!!!
Me- I don't know, that movie idea sounds pretty awful.
Dane Cook- WHAT IF I TRIED TO HELP MY FRIEND OUT TO GET HIS GIRLFRIEND BACK, BUT THEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER!!!
Me- That doesn't sound much bet-
Dane Cook- I ENJOY YELLING!!! SUFI!!!
Dane Cook- WELL HOW ABOUT WE GO GET SOME DORM FOOD?!! YEAH, GO GET SOME DORM FOOD!!! HOW FUNNY IS IT WHEN I REPEAT MYSELF!!! BUT YOU KNOW DORM FOOD IS TERRIBLE, YOU EAT IT AND THEN YOUR STOMACH IS ALL UPSET!!! YOUR STOMACH IS LIKE WHY DID YOU EAT THAT? WHY DID YOU EAT THAT? I HATE YOU!!! THEN YOU ARE ON THE TOLIET AND YOUR STOMACH IS JUST MAKING GOD AWFUL NOISES!!!
Dane proceeds to make sound effects for 5 minutes straight.
Me- I guess we can go get food now, but let me first unpack this box. It's pretty crazy how we are both going to be sharing this tiny room for the next year.
Dane Cook- YEAH, IT WOULD SUCK IF ONE OF US ANNOYED THE OTHER ONE!!! YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE WITH SOMEONE YOU HATE!!! EVERYTHING THEY DO ANNOYS YOU!!! THEY ARE LIKE "HEY, WHAT'S UP?" AND YOU'RE JUST THINKING, "THAT GUYS A DICK!!!"
Dane Cook slowly begins to run out of breath and begins to lose his voice.
Me- So are you going to be quiet for a little bit?
Dane Cook- I guess I might have to.
Several people come into our room and start quoting Dane Cook.