Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
After graduating from college I was working computer sales at Best Buy. One day a lady came in irate because the computer she had just bought had "died". When I asked her to take a look at it, I pushed the power button and it turned right on. The stupid bitch didn't know how to use the power button.
-Tom, West Virginia University
I lifeguarded at a small, private pool for seven summers straight through high school and college. Usually, the job entails sitting in a chair and watching people swim all day with occasional janitorial duties. One sweltering day in the middle of July, I had to work a shift from noon to 4pm. In those four hours alone, I had three kids vomit all over the pool deck and one kid take a dump in the baby pool, all of which my manager made me clean up. About ten minutes til 4pm, I was getting ready to clock out when a lady came up to the front desk. She said that she had seen a pair of bloody tampons stuck to the bottom of the shallow end. My manager made me change back into my suit, get in the pool with a Ziploc sandwich bag, and hunt down the mess.
-C.N., Wittenberg University
I work at an international company here in Sofia, Bulgaria. While we were still training I asked my American supervisor if I should use my real name since it's one vocal away from sounding really awkward in English. She said I shouldn't be embarrased to use my real name no matter what, which sounded reasonable. A couple of months later an e-mail account update came from UK Headquarters and the IT team had misspelled my name into Vaseline. Now it's on every e-mail I send.
I work as a package carrier for a major shipping company. The other day I delivered a package to a house, rang the door bell and an overweight lady answered the door in a robe. I told her she had to sign for the package. She then produced a sob story about how she didn't have the money to pay for it and was willing to bargain "services" instead. She then opened the robe and flashed me. I handed her the box and ran to my truck, signed it for her, and sped away. I probably should have told her that the box was not a COD and that shipping was already paid for
that image of the obese naked lady is forever burned into my eyes
.think i need optic surgery now.