Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
During high school I worked at a local pizza place, one day we get a call from a guy who had just picked up a large pizza. He says "Your pizza is giving me a heart attack." "Sir, did you call an ambulance?" "No, I just wanted you to know it gave me a heart attack." and then wants to speak with my manager. After telling her his story she offers him a replacement pizza to make up for it. He accepted.
-Matt, Purdue University
I worked at American Eagle Outfitters. As anyone who's ever worked in a retail store will tell you, it pretty much sucks to deal with people. Here's just a few of the things I've seen at that store: a lady took a dump in a pair of jeans and just left them in the fitting room, an old lady threw a hoodie at my head because it wasn't the size she was looking for (on Christmas Eve, just to make it better) and finally, last Black Friday at 7 in the morning, a lady threw up on one of our registers. She then refused to get off line for fear of loosing her spot in line.
Today at work, an 80 year old woman demanded to exchange her Sacagawea dollar for a Susan B. Anthony dollar. The reason? She said, "I don't want a Mexican on my money!"
-Vince L., Mizzou
I work as a nighttime janitor at a small local karate studio that used to be a station for the train tracks that run through the middle of town. As a result, the door to the storeroom requires that I go out the front door, and walk across the deck to reach it. One night, when I came into work, there was a very strange looking lady and her male friend sitting on the deck. I asked my boss about it, and she said she had no idea who the person was or what they were doing. I mostly forgot about the strange lady until I had to get a new pack of water bottles to refill the fridge. I took the empty pack (it was one of the 35 packs from Costco) and set it on the railing of the deck. I went into the storeroom, got a new pack of water, and walked out. The lady had walked off and had stolen the empty pack of water, and she was wearing it on her head like a hat. I never saw her again.
-James F., California
After graduating from college I was working computer sales at Best Buy. One day a lady came in irate because the computer she had just bought had "died". When I asked her to take a look at it, I pushed the power button and it turned right on. The stupid bitch didn't know how to use the power button.
-Tom, West Virginia University
I lifeguarded at a small, private pool for seven summers straight through high school and college. Usually, the job entails sitting in a chair and watching people swim all day with occasional janitorial duties. One sweltering day in the middle of July, I had to work a shift from noon to 4pm. In those four hours alone, I had three kids vomit all over the pool deck and one kid take a dump in the baby pool, all of which my manager made me clean up. About ten minutes til 4pm, I was getting ready to clock out when a lady came up to the front desk. She said that she had seen a pair of bloody tampons stuck to the bottom of the shallow end. My manager made me change back into my suit, get in the pool with a Ziploc sandwich bag, and hunt down the mess.
-C.N., Wittenberg University
I work at an international company here in Sofia, Bulgaria. While we were still training I asked my American supervisor if I should use my real name since it's one vocal away from sounding really awkward in English. She said I shouldn't be embarrased to use my real name no matter what, which sounded reasonable. A couple of months later an e-mail account update came from UK Headquarters and the IT team had misspelled my name into Vaseline. Now it's on every e-mail I send.
I work as a package carrier for a major shipping company. The other day I delivered a package to a house, rang the door bell and an overweight lady answered the door in a robe. I told her she had to sign for the package. She then produced a sob story about how she didn't have the money to pay for it and was willing to bargain "services" instead. She then opened the robe and flashed me. I handed her the box and ran to my truck, signed it for her, and sped away. I probably should have told her that the box was not a COD and that shipping was already paid for
that image of the obese naked lady is forever burned into my eyes
.think i need optic surgery now.