It is the morning after the events of Terminator Salvation and the remaining Terminators are meeting the surprisingly well furnished Skynet Headquarters to discuss their next plan.
Skynet: Good morning everyone, I know we had bad weekend with the attack and everything but we're going to pick ourselves up and push forward with our campaign. First, however I just have a few announcements; next Monday is the T-500's birthday and there'll be a collection for them in the break room; also I'm afraid our company Softball game again the Autobots has been called off.
There is a chorus of disappointed groans from the room.
Mr. Stevens: Thank you. Well I'll just get right into it, first of all the furniture budget for this year was much higher than it needed to be.
Skynet: How much do you think we should be spending?
Mr. Stevens: well
zero, nothing. You're robots, chairs and monitors are completely useless to you, and it's not like you just ordered them from IKEA, you had them specially made for no reason, it's madness!
Skynet: what's IKEA?
Mr. Stevens: It doesn't matter. I also wanted to talk about the efficiency of our killing machines.
Skynet: what about it?
Mr. Stevens: well they're not very efficient are they? I watched the CCTV footage of the incident and it seemed like every time the terminator grabbed John Connor he would simply throw him against a wall, allowing him time to attack us back. It seems to me that if this thing has hold of John Connor it would be able to crush him with very little effort, it's like it's trying to extend the fighting for the benefit of some imaginary spectator.
Skynet: You'll be interested to know that we currently have some models in development that have the ability to morph into knives and stabbing weapons, so that should solve the problem.
Mr. Stevens: That's good but we still need to address the biggest issue I had which is your plan to kill John Connor.
Skynet: Oh come on now you're just nit-picking, that plan was flawless, there was nothing more we could have done.
Mr. Stevens: Ok well let me just establish a few things I didn't quite understand. You lured John Connor into your base by kidnapping Kyle Reese. Who is Kyle Reese? And why is so important for John Connor to save him.
Skynet: Ahhh Kyle Reese is John Connor's father, he will be sent back in time and have a relationship with Sarah Connor. John Connor knows that if Kyle Reese dies he will no longer exist.
Mr. Stevens: Ok I'm going to stop you right there. This hasn't happened yet, so how do you know about it? But more importantly, you knew that if Kyle Reese died so did John Connor? Your whole plan was based on that fact?
Skynet: Yep that's right.
Mr. Stevens: So why not just kill Kyle Reese when he was in the god damn cell!
Skynet: Hmmm, no I liked our plan better.
Mr. Stevens: This is ridiculous; you're like a bad Bond villain.
Skynet: Thank you Mr. Stevens that will be all. Now, let's go over our new plan. I have here Grey's Sports Almanac, we will send one of our terminators back in time with this and they will become rich, begin an acting career, take political office and finally
kill John Connor.
Mr. Stevens: That's it, you and me, we're done professionally.