It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
I had a roommate freshman year who would always come home around 3 a.m and decided that she would much rather puke on the floor instead of the toilet. She did this every weekend. One night she came home, did the same thing and then she OFFERED me money to clean it up. I didn't refuse because she offered me $50. While I was in the process of cleaning up her chunky vomit she said. "See I knew you would be good at cleaning up vomit. You're Asian, you should be used to it." As soon as she passed out, I grabbed the face towel I was using to clean up the vomit and wiped it all over her clothes and handbags. She woke up the next day wondering why her clothes smelled bad.
Anonymous, School Not Given
My roommate and I kind of get along, aside from her stealing my food when I'm not in the room, leaving her dirty clothes all over the floor of our dorm room, and from her never showering for the entire semester we were together. My friends are afraid to enter my room because of her body odor and how the stench will immediately stick to your clothing. And I've told her time and time again about the problem and how I "feel uncomfortable" being in the room when she's there. Well, I got tired of it and took all of her dirty clothes, clean clothes, food, bed sheets, novelty plastic swords, and her "lucky pillow", and threw it all out the window the day I moved out. I'm not really sorry she was fined for "throwing things down from the 12th floor window".
Aiden Lane, VCU
My roommate freshman year took 12 credits and worked one day a week. He worked on Sunday at 9am so he was super anal if I made any noise after 10pm on Saturday night even though he would be loud all through the week when I had 8am class. Anyway I noticed that he started taking my sleeping pills, so to get back at him I switched out the pills for some extra strength No-Doz pills and left the bottle out in plain sight.
Matt B, Oregon State
That was actually a pretty good prank when you stole pictures from my Facebook and created a men seeking men add on Craig's List. I really appreciated all 40 of the gay men in the Provo area asking me what I was doing that night. I hope you didn't mind though when I had to take drastic measures to get the add off of there by calling the police. Sorry that I got that cop come by and pretend to arrest you. I thought that would have been enough but when you started crying and saying you didn't do anything wrong just topped it off for me! The whole apartment building saw you looking like a baby, you puss.
Trey Welch, BYU
Alright, we lived below an Aussie my sophomore year that was kind of a prick and was banging this chick across the street. After me and the aussie donated blood for a blood drive, my roommate and I got a good idea. We faked a letter from the Health Dept. saying something to the effect that "your blood sample came back positive for herpes and we urge you to contact past sexual partners." We put the letter in an envelope and got the d-bags's roommate to let us use his mail key to put the letter in their mail box. The d-bag aussie gets the letter and confronts the girl he is banging blaming her for the entire thing. He hides out for a couple days, we assume in a deep depression
so we finally let him know it was a fake soon after but we sure did enjoy the week that was hell for him.
Robert Stack, Purdue
The first semester of my senior year, I finally got a really nice place across the street from campus after living in my fraternity house. I moved in with three other guys from my pledge class, one who I was pretty close with and the other two were more or less decent friends who were complete cokehead douchers. The first two months went great, we partied all the time and got along really well. Then I got a call from my parents that my dad's company had filed for bankruptcy due to his partner embezzling a ton of money. I had been buying all of my food and alcohol, but my parents had been paying rent, tuition and utilities. They said they would still be able to afford my rent and tuition, but I would have to get a job to pay for utilities, which I was fine with. I got a crappy job at a bar and made what money I could to pay the bills. I was taking 18 hours that semester which meant I had a full schedule each day. I told my roommates about my situation and they all agreed to help out if I couldn't make bill payments and start conserving more energy. I came home one day to find that my coked out roommates had put in an old ass refrigerator that sucked up electricity like a mother effer and they said it was for "beer and shit". I freaked out when I saw that our utility bill had gone up $200 dollars the next month so I took a shit in the freezer of the old ass fridge. I was woken up at 8am on one of my few days off by the screams of my douchey roommate. When he asked who did it, I told him that it was me. When he asked why I said "because you said it was for beer and shit". He moved out two weeks later and we threw the fridge into the river
with the shit still in it.
Brian K., University of Missouri
My roommate considered himself a ladies man and would always borrow my BMW when he went to meet a girl for the first time as he owned a shitheap. He thought he was the shit and always had a few girls going at a time, usually just meeting them once for sex. One day we decided it would be funny to fill a condom with some shampoo and put it in the folded up sun shade above the passenger seat. We also put a walkie talkie under the passenger seat. When the girl pulled down the shade the filled condom fell into her lap, at that point we decided the time was right to say 'Hey man, have you boned her yet? She's not that hot, but do-able I suppose. Tell us all the details when you get back.' He was freaking out, he had no idea where our voices were coming from but he couldn't find the walkie talkie anywhere. The girl looked like she was about to murder him.
Simon Delaggio, Trinity College Dublin
So I had this roommate last year who was really disgusting. He would always come in at like 4 in the morning, drunk out of his mind, and he would pee on the floor. That's right, he would unzip his pants and pee all over the floor. He did this constantly. I got super pissed(shut up), and told him if it happens again, something bad will happen to him. Well two fucking days later, he comes in at 3 AM, drunk out of his mind, and once again he pisses all over the floor. So, at like 10 am that morning, while my roommate is still passed out, I go get a big bucket and pee in it. I then get some of my other friends to pee in it until it's all the way full. I go to my roommates room, nudge him awake. His eyes open and they meet mine. I lift the bucket up and say "I told you mother fucker. I told you." I then dump the bucket of piss all over his face. He cried like a little bitch, but hey, he never pissed on the floor again.
Sammy Refollen, University of Wisconsin-Madison
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