A girl just broke up with me because her parents found out we were seeing each other and they think she could "do better than a poli sci major."
I am eight months pregnant, and my fianc?efuses to have sex with me. Not because I am no longer attractive, but because "The baby will know what's going on."
Recently noticed my ex girlfriend created a fake facebook account devoted to stalking me. Found out it was her when the fake person was suddenly friends with everyone I became friends with at college.
So, my [Ex] girlfriend and I were in a class talking to some friends, and I say "Yeah, I'm named after my grandfather" and she say "Really? Whats his name?"
-Jake Crutchfield, Kansas State
My ex-girlfriend made a facebook account for her dog.
I dated a girl back in high school and she refused to ride in my car because I have a radar detector. She claimed it showed that I have a "Willfulness to commit a crime". We didn't last very long
I had some interest in this girl for about a month. She was very popular with a lot of the people I knew, so I thought maybe I should get to know her more. Things started getting more interesting and we would talk about sex all the time. Finally, I hinted at hooking up with her, and she kept talking about it. Three weeks after this, I asked her if she was interested in me and she responded: "I respect you too much to hook up with you." The next day she hooked up with my friend, and i called her a bitch, so now she won't stop asking to go on a date. Guess I disrespected her
When I was in High School, I dated a girl who was always broke because she loved shopping and clothes, specifically designer labels. I mean her closet was full of clothes (She had well over 30 pairs of "premium" jeans) Anyways, one night lying in bed together, she starts complaining that she never has any money, and doesn't understand how it disappears so quickly. So I say "Did you ever think to check your closet?" She replies without missing a beat, "J, I don't keep bags of money hidden in my closet!"
-JC, University of Ottawa
A couple of weeks ago, you guys had a post about a guy who sent a text about earning "10 points for Gryffindor" after he had just had sex. I actually laughed out loud at that one, but then my wife asked me what was so funny. I repeated what I had just read and she got a look in her eye before she asked me "if I wanted to earn 10 points for Gryffindor?" What can I say? Apparently, Gryffindor House is up by 20 points now!
-Mike, East Carolina University
Today, my girlfriend asked me what the biggest number in the world is
My girlfriend once stated that if she could have two wishes, she would wish that harry potter was real and that she wasn't a muggle. Her and her friend also started a harry potter role playing forum.
-Alex, Missouri State University
My girlfriend has recently gotten into the habit of groping at my nipples while saying "Mommy
I'm thiwsty!" in a whiny child-like voice. When I tell her to stop she says "But I need the antibodies!"