So if you are like me you enjoy watching movie trailers and trashy reality tv. Two of my favorite this season have been the trailer for the new James Cameron Movie Avatar and the MTV reality show Jersey Shore. One features a ton of 9 foot tall smurfs on a planet with air toxic to humans and the other guido-looking orange skinned people living in a beach house on a land where the air might as well be toxic. I recently watched the avatar trailer while watching jersey shore and the two actually fit together pretty nicely. Try to imagine the awesome music that plays in the backround of the Avatar trailer playing during this script:

JERSEY SHORE AVATAR TRAILER

OPEN ON JAKE SULLY. HE HAS SHAGGY HAIR AND IS IN A LOCAL NIGHTCLUB. HE SITS IN HIS WHEELCHAIR AND ROLLS FORWARD

WE SEE A SHOT OF THE JERSEY SHORE. IT IS A TRASHY LOOKING BEACH FULL OF JERSEY SHORE REJECTS

CORPORATION MAN: WE'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT A FRESH START ON A NEW PLANET YOU'D BE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

THE SOUND OF HAIR SPRAY AND WEIGHTS BEING LIFTED IS HEARD

WE SEE SHOTS OF THE LANDSCAPE OF JERSEY SHORE. IT IS A GROSS BEACH FILLED WITH GUIDO-LOOKING BEACH GOWERS. THERE ARE SHITTY AIRBRUSH T SHIRT AND NOVELTY OLDE TYME PHOTO BOOTHS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE

JAKE WHEELS OUT INTO THE LONESOME BOARDWALK WEARING A GAS MASK.
                                                       V.O. JAKE:
                                        I BECAME A MARINE BECAUSE I TOLD MYSELF THAT I COULD PASS AN OBSTACLE A       MAN COULD PASS. ALL I WANTED WAS A SINGLE THING WORTH FIGHTING FOR

WE SEE A SHOT OF GENERAL BAUME. HE HAS A ORANGE STREAK THROUGH HIS FACE ALMOST LOOKING LIKE HE WAS SCRATCHED BY A TIGERS CLAW INDICATING HE HAS FOUGHT BEFORE.

GENERAL BAUME IS ADDRESSING A LARGE CROWD OF SPACE MARINES

BAUME: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

SHOT OF JAKE LOOKING AT THE GROSS JERSEY SHORE IN HIS EYES WE SEE AMAZEMENT THAT THIS TYPE OF A HELL HOLE CAN ACTUALLY EXIST.

                                                    V.O. (CONT'D)
BAUME: YOU'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE..YOU'RE IN THE JERSEY SHORE

WE SEE A SHOT OF JWOW AND "THE SITUATION" ALL ORANGE AND WITH AN UNNATURAL  ORANGE GLOW
               
                                                   V.O. (CONT'D)
BAUME: WE HAVE AN INDIGENOUS POPULATION

SHOT OF SNOOKIE DANCING IN THE NIGHT CLUB KARMA

                                                  V.O. (CONT'D)
BAUME: … CALLED THE "GUID'E". GUIDO FOR MALES AND GUIDETTES FOR FEMALES. THEY ARE VERY HARD TO KILL. THEY FULL OF OVER CONFIDENCE AND DOUCHEY-NESS..

SHOT OF "THE SITUATION" IN A HOT TUB WITH 4 "GUIDETTES" WHO ARE MAKING OUT. HE TAKES A SHOT OF PATRON AND FIST BUMPS JOHNNY D, A FELLOW GUIDO

SHOT OF OFFICE OF CORPORATE GOON STEVEN LIPZ

                                                   V.O. (CONT'D)
LIPZ: THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE BECAUSE THIS LITTLE BOTTLE OF BOD MAN BODY SPRAY SELLS FOR $10,000 A KILO AND THOSE GUIDO'S NIGHTCLUB KARMA JUST HAPPENS TO BE RESTING ON TOP OF THE LARGEST DEPOSIT OF IT

SHOT OF SNOOKI WHO IS DECKED OUT IN A TRASHY LOOKING CLUBBING OUTFIT WHICH REVEALS FAR TOO MUCH OF HER FIGURE

SNOOKI: YO KARMA IS MY SHIT. WHEN I GET OUT ON THAT FLOOR ITS LIKE EVERYBODYS LOOKIN AT ME

WE SEE SHOTS OF JAKE'S GUIDO IN A GROWTH TUBE. IT IS GOLDEN ORANGE HAS A PERFECT SIX PACK, GELLED TO THE MAX HAIR, AND MUSCLES THAT LOOK AS IF THEY THEMSELVES ALSO HAVE MUSCLES.

                                                                V.O. (CONT'D)
JAKE: THE IDEA IS THAT THEY MIX THE DNA OF A HUMAN WITH THAT OF A GUIDO INTO AN AVATAR. THEN WE UPLINK INTO THEM

WE SEE SCIENTIST GRACE. SHE IS TOUGH AS NAILS.

GRACE: OKAY JUST SIT BACK AND THINK OF THE LAST AWESOME RAGER YOU WENT TO WITH YOUR BOYS…SHOULDNT BE THAT HARD FOR YOU.

WE SEE A COLORFUL TUNNEL AND THEN SEE JAKE'S AVATAR GUIDO OPEN ITS EYES.

A SHOT OF JAKE WHEELING ALONG Talking TO GENERAL BAUME

BAUME: A MARINE IN AN AVATAR GUIDO. THAT'S A POTENT MIX. YOU DO THIS JOB FOR ME AND GET THEM TO MOVE AND I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU GET YOUR REAL LEGS BACK SO YOU CAN GO SMUSH SOME TAIL

SHOT OF JAKE CHASING AFTER SNOOKI, A LOCAL, SHE IS CLEARLY TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM HIM. HE GRABS HER ARM..

SNOOKI: YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE YOU FUCKIN' DOCUHEBAG. NOT INLESS YOU GOT A PENIS RING AND YOU READY TO FIST BUMP OKAY.

JAKE: PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP

SHOTS OF JAKE LEARNING THE WAYS OF A GUIDO JERSEY SHORE BOY. HE IS SHOWN LEARNING TO WORK THE CASH REGISTER AT THE SHIRT STORE, LEARNING HOW TO TAN AND LEARNING HOW TO SHOTGUN A KEYSTONE LIGHT.

                                                    V.O. (CONT'D)
BAUME YOU HAVENT GOTTEN LOST IN THE DOUCHEBAG WOODS HAVE YOU?

SHOTS OF BULLDOZERS RUNNING OVER THE FRIED-CHEESE STANDS OF THE SHORE AND HEADING TOWARDS THE LIQUOR STORE AND KARMA

                                                    V.O. (CONT'D)
JAKE: THE STRONG WILL ALWAYS PRAY ON THE WEAK AND NOBODY DOES A THING

SHOTS OF BAUME GEARING UP FOR WAR WITH THE GUIDOS.

                                                   V.O. (CONT'D)
JAKE: THESE FUCKIN' DOUCHEBAGS THINK THAT THEY CAN COME HERE AND TAKE KARMA FROM US…?

SHOTS OF THE GUIDO AVATAR JAKE TALKING TO A LARGE CROWD OF OTHER GUIDOS

                                                 V.O. (CONT'D)
JAKE: KARMA IS MY FUCKIN JOINT…AND ITS THE SITUATIONS JOINT…AND JWOW'S JOINT…AND ALL OF OUR FUCKIN JOINTS…!

SHOTS OF THE GUIDOS BATTLING THE ARMY

                                                V.O. (CONT'D)
JAKE: …LETS SHOW THESE FUCKIN ASSHOLES THAT THIS….THIS IS OUR SPOT!

SHOTS OF GUIDOS ATTACKING THE ARMY IN A MASSIVE CHAOTIC FIGHT

WE THEN SEE THE TITLE CARD: AVATAR: JERSEY SHORE