It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My first year at college was pretty smooth. Good classes, great grades, awesome selection of new friends (bed or otherwise), and a passable roommate. Why passable? He was good, except for the fact that he snored like a chainsaw on crack in THX surround cranked to 11. It was insane! He kept our neighbors (above, below, AND beside) awake. Around midterms I started to pay for everything in Cash instead of credit. Every night I would empty my pockets on my end table to have a nice pile of pennies. He snores, I throw a penny at him. If I hit his head, he would roll over and stop snoring. Plus He'd be so happy to find all this money in his bed each morning (I would run out of pennies some nights and throw other coins). I can't say that I didn't have to leave the room laughing every time I heard the penny hit teeth and then hear him swallow. I had penny drives each week. Everyone including the RA contributed. You'd think I would stop there, oh no
Insomnia makes people mean, so I didn't. Every time I made a 3-pt shot and had to leave laughing, he would comment in the morning that there was this copper taste in his mouth. I convinced him it was blood and he should see a doctor. Money well spent!
R.S., Plattsburgh State
Well I noticed you've been stealing some of my toothpaste of late, which isn't a problem, I understand. However when you yelled at me to clean the dishes, which were also yours, and I confronted you about using my toothpaste you denied it and called me a lying pack of shit, I decided to take measures into my own hand. Well, needless to say I replaced to actual toothpaste, and put icy hot in that bottle. I hope you liked the ice to cool pain and the hot to relax it all in your mouth. Next time admit when your wrong and not to have me clean up your damn mess.
Z.Q., School Not Given
I had a roommate who liked to make everything a competition (especially girls). So after him moving in on a handful of girls I liked throughout the semester I convinced him I was interested in this chick who was known to have several STDs. Predictably, he slept with her after a night out at the bars and contracted gonorrhea. Since I know you love this site, I'm hoping you read this and realize I'm counting this as a "win" on my part, jackass.
K.B., University of Tennessee
Move-in day freshman year, a kid on my floor was moving in with the help of his parents and walked in on his naked roommate plowing another dude. It was a week before he was able switch rooms
Ry Erg, ISU
I used to live in the student ghetto with a bunch of inconsiderate assholes. They would party every night until 4am doing blow and blasting reggae until all hours of the morning. One day I came home to find a massive sound system installed in our living room. These speakers and receiver look like they cost a fortune. Needless to say at 4am the house was banging
.and so were my roommates. As they were messing around with each other I snuck downstairs and pulled the fuse out of the back of the receiver. I, knowing that both roommates are morons I figured they would never find out. They didn't
when they moved out they left it behind. My room has the sweetest beats on the block.
M. Neville, School Not Given
While I was at work one day, my roommate traded my Burmese Python to his drug dealer for cocaine. When I got home and realized my snake was gone, he apologized. He then offered to split the coke with me. Well while he was in the bathroom I took a lump of the Urates (the white part of the snake shit) and crushed it up in a bag and switched it with his coke. He sat there doing the shit all night, complaining about how it was cut with something. The dealer actually called the house and asked me to come get the snake because it bit him. So all in all I had my snake back, a bag of coke, and an awesome story. Thanks dick head!
Nunya Dombiniz, School Not Given
Last semester, I had this asshole roommate who was always taking my stuff without asking, usually breaking it. I'm a pretty laid back guy so I kept my mouth shut until he broke the tripod of my brand-new $3000 HD camera. Turns out he had broken it while filming himself and his ugly-ass girlfriend having sex. On my bed. Now this is a particularly nice camera. Comes with some cool software. You can upload it directly into a program that makes a really nice DVD. A DVD which should get to his house just in time for the holidays. Have fun explaining your amateur sex tape to your parents, douchebag.
Brian Sorza, University of Texas
Submit yours here!